JK - The reason why I think your argument isn't convincing is that it's all a function of your narrow, singular experience (which is a limit all of us have) combined with your continuing to read that experience through a lot of assumptions that are not as necessarily as a priori "true" as you think they are, combined with the fact that you seem to read everything through the lenses of national categories (the Japanese do this, the Koreans do that) and equivocation (blacks in Japan experience X, Korean Americans in the US experience Y, therefore whites in Japan should experience Z).
It doesn't work this way, if you really look at the peculiarities of the situation, along with some of its informative parallele.
You seem to be setting up a straw man that frankly, I don't think exists in the monolithic way you describe it to be such that you can represent yourself as being on the receiving end of this singularly crazy chimera of white men in Korea. Yeah, there are a lot of annoying white people here who don't recognize their own (largely male) white privelege and only see the examples of their apparent discrimination and don't see how their very mode of existence here depends on their whiteness and their passport. Or whiteness as the passport, as the case may be.
Yet, the majority of those people grumble to themselves or people like themselves, they might complain about it on some blogs, but the majority of those people don't turn into pro-Japanese Korea-haters. Come on, dude. I know you're really put off by the site in question, as I am, but let's both be real and admit that that is a particularly unique site. Yeah, it touches a nerve with many white expats, but there's a big difference between MAKING a site versus passively becoming part of its community.
And pattern describing the "typical" white male expat who dates and even marries a Korean woman, comes to or lives in Korea with "open eyes" and then over the years, builds up a bank of derision and anger at being discriminated against and then "explodes" in fits of anti-Korean rage – man, it just doesn't jibe with what I've seen.
And given your previous comments that seem to so prominently assume that people like Matt were dissed by Korean women and are just angry, or by extension, that Korean men overseas who give white men shit for being with a Korean woman become the source of such rage for those white men – I think that they explain your psychology much more than the apparent motivations of the white men in question. In any case, it's a pretty weak accusation.
From what I've seen – and this seems more reasonable than your explanation, although I question the very utility of linking romance with Korean women to eventually hating Koreea, but – the majority of men who date Korean women and marry them are reasonable people who don't become wild Korea-haters, but actually have had to find ways to deal with the occasional rebuff, stare, or comment from folks.
And we have to think about generations and how things change. The majority of white men TODAY who get married to Korean women whom *I* know and see around - and I have attended several such weddings just recently – have made great affective committments to their spouses. It's part of the process of getting married to anyone. They've already come to terms with being the odd-man-out, and also generally know a lot about the culture, many of them speak conversational Korean, and definitely do not "hate" Korea or even Korean men, as you tend to assume.
Am I defending all white men? No. I'm not even working within such a paradigm of "us vs. them" regarding white men and whomever else. But I am saying that if you're talking about WHITE MEN WHO MARRY KOREAN WOMEN, the majority of them don't end up becoming Korea-haters.
In fact, the people whom I think you're talking about – people who seem to cheese you off to the point that I don't even think you're being reasonable anymore, like Matt – are not typical.
Even if you're talking about the majority of expat blogs written by white men, I don't think the majority are Korea-hating, right-wing Japan-boosting sites, nor do they go on and on about hating Korea, as you say they do. The majority of sites in the Korean blogosphere – as in any blogosphere – are personal and reflect the stage of life where the blogger is at. Most are English teachers trying to give wry and witty observations on life in Korea, being an outsider for the first time, strange and quirky cultural differences, weird food tales, and the like.
The majority of Korea blogs are remarkably mundane and apolitical, existing as functions of the blogger's experiences. Since the majority of these blogs are functions of people generally experiencing what I call the "Stage 1" of life in Korea – "Oh, there's lotsa Korean people and look, they have a different logic than me, and look, weird food, and wow, I'm a minority for the first time in my life, and gee, I wish I could be understood for who I am instead of whom I appear to be" – and there's nothing wrong with that.
And along the way, you get some righteous indignation about being discriminated against in Korea as a white person for the first time. It's part of the playbook, guy. I went through my own version of that in 1994. Korean Americans go through their own version of this, but instead, you often get "Oh my gosh, I'm really much more 'American' than I made room for in my 22-year-old identity politics, and wow, why don't Koreans see me for who I am instead of whom I appear to be?" From watching all types of people come and go through Korea, I'm struck at how similar the Stage 1 reaction is, as opposed to how different they are.
I'm not saying I want to sit down and listen to the conversations of white people complaining about "finally understanding what it means to be black back home" over beer; nor will I be friends and hang out with people going on and on about how much Korea sucks and America's suddenly great and whatnot. It's so Stage 1 life in Korea - no matter where you go, there's nothing to make someone more patriotic than a year spent overseas. And it can happen in a lot of ways: a Korean American from LA might get all Korean nationalist and "Korean Pride" and "if it's Korean, it's good" for a while (seen a lot of that), while some white folks can get a martyr complex and all "I'm Malcolm X in Korea" (seen a lot of that, too). But most people keep it reasonable, and a few get excited about it over beers. I myself remember in 1996 reading Francis Fukuyama and once yelling duing a beer-filled debate about Hiroshima and the Smithsonian that "They deserved it! I'd bomb those motherfuckers again!"
Wow. The thoughts of a 23-year-old living overseas for the first time in a bar. Yeah, there was no real web back there on the island I lived on, international long distance was still more than a buck per minutes, and there were certainly no blogs or other ways to let off steam. Thank God, in my case. I don't want a record of things I said back then - umm, actually that would be kinda interesting, come to think of it – but the world isn't necessarily a better place for it.
But just try to interpret this "situation" honestly and reasonably – yeah, there's a site out there that really irks you. But what it sounds like you're doing is trying to place every annoying conversation or even annoying person into this singular category of the "angry white man" who, I'm sorry to say, I don't think exists, at least in the cartoon-character form you're describing.
Dude - it sounds like you need to make a blog. Get it out. Express. Add to the conversation. Seriously – that's why anyone – even the people whom you hate – make blogs. It's a vent, an overload cutoff system. It's why I blog. It's why many, many expats blog. It's probably why Occidentalism is a blog. We all got shit to get off of our chests, or something we want to say. You may think that I'm lying down with the devil for even saying so, but whether the blog is about "I Love My Korean Life" or "I Hate Korea" or "Me and My Pet Turtles" or whatever – we all got something to say.
And no matter how you cut it, you obviously have something to say as well. You come here, you go there, you complain of having been unfairly banned, you have an agenda. You also seem to have a point-of-view. People with agendas, a point of view, and a lot to say generally need to blog.
So just do it, dude. I think you'll find that in the process, you'll see it's hard work to keep up with past the first couple weeks, you have to deal with people who disagree with you or even hate you, and yet, you have to find a way of dealing with them in a way that doesn't turn off your readers.
It's a process, a struggle, dude. And for me, something fun to do. In the end, blogging has gotta be fun, else you won't do it anymore. And for the readers, it's gotta be fun, else they won't come anymore. And once your blog is going, I think you'll see a lot of things differently and may just well come to add to something to the greater conversation in the process.
So make the blog, dude. I'm not being cheeky or facetious. I'm serious. Make it – I'll link to it as long as it's reasonable. Even if I find it unreasonable, I'll link to it in a post or two because it' s an interesting story, and I'm sure that readers both here and at Occi would be interested in seeing what you have to say.
Hey – you're guaranteed a much more public birth than most blogs get, so when's the opening date?