Scribblings of the Metropolitician

Are You a "Good American" or Just Too Cowed to Care?

Frank Rich gave good op-ed in his NYT piece "The 'Good Germans' Among Us" back in mid-October. And the image accompanying the piece was none-too-subtle. For those of you who missed it, I've reprinted it below.

You know, there's no real point when one can actually point to when we lose our freedoms. The fact that movies like this can even be made makes this point clear as crystal, since incidents like this have actually already happened.

So when are our democratic freedoms lost? When this happens to only one guy? Ten? A hundred? Or ten thousand? And I love how one of the main justifications used for torture, kidnapping, or denying people of basic human rights is that "they" are not American citizens, and the "Bill of Rights does not apply overseas."

Great. The freedoms we fight for only apply to us, but we don't believe in them deeply enough to apply them to when we deal with other people in the world? Lovely.

Or is "rendition" OK, since it just didn't happen to me, or won't, since I don't "look like a terrorist" or "fit a profile" anyway?

America already has gulags in Guantanamo, and we've rented out the old ones of our enemies, across Eastern Europe to Abu Graib – the irony of which having been the legendary torture chamber used by Saddam's Hussein's secret police being lost in the shuffle of the scandal itself.

I wonder how great the US would have looked in the eyes of history if we had started torturing former Nazis and other German bad guys in SS prisons, using their own interrogation techniques, e.g. "Verschärfte Vernehmung", which the Bush administration has been digging in its heels to defend as legal for the US to perform.

When you translate the Bush administration's term for "enhanced interrogation" techniques, it just happens to be the direct, literal, and most accurate translation of "Verschärfte Vernehmung." Beautiful.

So I wonder if that literally came from the pages of the Gestapo handbook, or it was just an interesting coincidence. Actually – does it matter? Either way, that's some scary shit, people.

Umm, and the 1984-speakword "rendition" may not have a German equivalent, but the act itself does – this is where the government can detain, arrest, and imprison you without charges, strip you of your citizenship, deport you, or even worse (do you actually think there's not a "worse", if the stuff they actually legally can do to you is this bad?) – oh, that's not reality yet.

Right? So don't worry, since Patriot Act II (which would have given the government just such powers) didn't yet come to pass. And was anyone else shocked when reporters were sniffing around, and the Republican sponsors of the bill denied its existence to the press, but then 'fessed up after it was leaked in its entirety?

I hope you all are staying awake for this ongoing performance art piece, in which the Bush administration continues to take a slow and drippy shit on the hallowed grounds of American democratic principles even as our fearless leader proceeds to use the Bill of Rights to wipe his ass.

And he's doing it with that smug, yet slightly confused smile.

Is this what the Founders wanted? Maybe war hawk and near fascist-Federalist John Adams, who was the first example of why the Bill of Rights was absolutely necessary (Alien and Sedition laws, hello?!) or Alexander Hamilton, who had always wanted the American president to be elected for life – but not the anti-Federalists, who were rightly distrustful of authority and the tendency for power to corrupt and for the government to overstep its bounds: people like Samuel Adams (whom most people only know for the beer of the same name today, unfortunately) or Thomas Jefferson.

And for those who pooh-pooh all the people whining about the loss of rights here and there, over what seem like minor points and quibbles, one should be reminded that the ability for me even to say things like "Bush is a dick" now, or whomever is in power in 2050, or for people on the street criticizing Adams back in 1798 – these are all things that wouldn't have happened without that little document that the Bush administration seems to think is a piece of extra-fluffy Charmin:

Last month [2005], Republican Congressional leaders filed into the Oval Office to meet with President George W. Bush and talk about renewing the controversial USA Patriot Act.

Several provisions of the act, passed in the shell shocked period immediately following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, caused enough anger that liberal groups like the American Civil Liberties Union had joined forces with prominent conservatives like Phyllis Schlafly and Bob Barr to oppose renewal.

GOP leaders told Bush that his hardcore push to renew the more onerous provisions of the act could further alienate conservatives still mad at the President from his botched attempt to nominate White House Counsel Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court.

"I don't give a goddamn," Bush retorted. "I'm the President and the Commander-in-Chief. Do it my way."

"Mr. President," one aide in the meeting said. "There is a valid case that the provisions in this law undermine the Constitution."

"Stop throwing the Constitution in my face," Bush screamed back. "It's just a goddamned piece of paper!"

I've talked to three people present for the meeting that day and they all confirm that the President of the United States called the Constitution "a goddamned piece of paper."

And, to the Bush Administration, the Constitution of the United States is little more than toilet paper stained from all the shit that this group of power-mad despots have dumped on the freedoms that "goddamned piece of paper" used to guarantee.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, while still White House counsel, wrote that the "Constitution is an outdated document."

Praise God and pass the ammunition, baby! This presidency's going on, damn the torpedoes, Warp Factor 9! Bring it ON!

Maybe it takes "one named Kirk" to explain it?

How to Survive Jail..."Get bad!"

Speaking of jail, those scenes from the police encounters video and those pretty undangerous people ending up in jail reminded me of Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in Stir Crazy, which I promptly looked up on YouTube. Watch them get sentenced to more than a century in prison after getting framed for a bank robbery. Wilder's reaction still cracks me up.

"Wha?! Wha?! Wha?!"

And then there's that classic scene of them in the holding cell, "That's right, that's right. We bad, uh huh" and lighting the cigarette off the guy's face. I've never seen anyone look so surprised at their own actions.

Gene Wilder is the whitest dude in America – next to Steve Martin – trying to be "bad" along with Richard Pryor. Perfect straight man, and when he smacked that bald (gay?!) man on the head...that is truly funny.

"My brother was real short...we couldn't even see him..."

Constitutional Rights and Searches

A simple reminder of citizens' rights that the Bush administration down to the average American cop these days seem to have been forgotten.

Just something interesting I found on the Internet. Doesn't mean that the cops won't simply beat your ass because they want to, but you should at least know your rights.

The last video is just crazy – that girl is crazy naive, and is going to jail for a LONG time. I like the style of the ACLU guy's frank talk and pretty realistic situations. I also like the fact that in all the case, the kids in question are actually guilty of committing the crimes they are suspected of, and it's not some afterschool special.

I suspect the cops wouldn't be quite so gracious in the last scene about not being given consent to search, but at least she didn't basically put herself in jail, if she was going anyway.

And when I was in Oakland, I had a subletter who liked to smoke out, combined with a vindictive neighbor who always used police noise calls to compensate for his inability to move out of a student apartment with paper-thin walls. I was Valerie, and had I not known my rights, this Metropolitican may have been liable and convicted for some dumbass subletter whom I got stuck with for a month – and I have never smoked pot in my life.

Had I been Valerie in the first scenario, the combination of being black, living in Oakland, living in a student apartment, and having my name on the lease may have landed my ass in serious trouble.

The same knowledge of Korean law has similarly kept me out of trouble with Korean cops, once when cops were manhandling some foreigners whom they were blaming for a fight started by a Korean – when I was photographing them shoving them into the car, one cop came over to me and told me to stop taking pictures.

I asked him in Korean, "Are you arresting me?" and "I'm not interfering" (I was standing on the sidewalk along with 50 other gawkers, clearly not interfering) and "I have the right to take pictures. I'm a journalist" (which is a stretch, but he doens't know that and it's not a completely untrue statement in my eyes, since I do at least technically publish).

Actually, I didn't actively know whether these laws protected Korean citizens, but if you read the Korean constitution and read the laws pertaining to citizens' rights, it's surprising how similar they seem (to my lay eye) to the principles of American law, so I just made the same assumptions and waited to see what happened.

The cop was pissed, but he shut the hell up and I continued to take pictures – with flash – the entire time. And with so many witnesses, as well as the camera angle I was shooting from, I doubt he could have argued that I was actually "obstructing a police officer."

That was interesting.

In any case, some neo-con, arch-conservative, don't-question-authority types out there might look at this as "young punks making it tougher for the cops" but hey, cops get paid to uphold and behave according to the law. I don't get paid, nor have any responsibility to do anything other than comply with police orders that are legal and constitutional.

And given the egregious violations that police are committing these days, as well as the fact that they are getting caught for them more often, even the rudest police thug may just choose easier prey if you have the gleam of your rights in your eye and a saccharine-sweet, courteous demeanor.

These days, that may be all you got between you and a jail cell, or even worse.

Oh, and perhaps a mini-cassette recorder kept in the dash or armrest compartment, started well before the cop comes to the car. [If you click on any link in this post, this is the one you should read. ]

And given what you saw in the video, one can see how that can be a lot more helpful than you might have initially thought.

Am I Being Blocked?

Some readers still report being unable to get into my site from work, at home, or both.

Anyone else still have problems? One reader reports she was able to get in briefly in September, but then things stopped again.

If you have anything that might be of use towards finding out what's going on, please write to the comments.

Thanks!

Today, I Became an Angry "Netizen"

Well, I was already one, actually. But I mean in the sense of writing angry replies to newspaper columns, being chock full of typos, and even a bit crude in a Korean-speaking venue.

Hehe.

Anyway, I typed it up in a single draft, used the impolite, informal speech form, and even threw in a "colorful metaphor", as Mr. Spock put it in Star Trek III.

I can't link to the comment directly, but I'll print it in all its crude glory in Korean at the end of this post. But first, here's the story that inspired it, about Korean star who apparently got cuckolded and is filing for divorce, but is going batty in the press about the fact that she was apparently getting her turtle waxed by a foreigner. Oh, the horror!

Quoted as saying "It's because he was a foreigner."

HT to the Marmot, of course, where you can read all about it.

Clearly, this guy is projecting his own neurotic inferiority complex and stereotypes of foreign men, since why the hell should the color of the penis bonking your wife matter? Dude – you're wife is cheating on you whether the guy's Korean, German, or Nigerian. In fact, she's cheating on you whether the other person is male, female, transgendered, or an Other World Life Form. If it's sticking it's tentacular appendage into your wife's nether areas, well...

Does it really matter who it is?

Suck it up, file your divorce papers, and move on.

Jeez. What a sad sack, this guy.

If this is the way he deals with the world, no wonder his wife went looking for someone with a little actual lead in their pencil.

Which I said, in more hyperbolic and error-laden words than in English here. And yes, I know it's full of silly typos and flubs, but know that I've had this text sitting around for an hour now, and could have saved myself the embarrassment of things like spelling "조승희" as "초승희" or "미국놈" as "미국넘" and a myriad other little boo-boos.

But I think it added to the initial effect of being the angry AMERICAN netizen, especially since I used the impolite informal form, made lotsa "netizeny" errors, and was hyperbolic in my sentiments. Still, I think it makes the point more effectively this way. And it was fun, and felt good, to do. Here it is, for the record:

주한미국넘입니다. 그래서 화난 '미국놈'으로써 쓸께요.

이 사람이 외국인인 사실은 무슨 상관이냐? 한국에서는 한국사람끼리 바람을 안 피우냐? 불법행위이면 찾고 한국인처럼 똑같은 벌 받으면 되지.

"미국문화"? 진짜. 어떤 한 사람은 미국 대표냐? 그리고 '외국'이란 개념이 의미없는 캐터고리인 걸 알죠? '외국'이란 어딨는가? 페루? 일본? 미국? 우즈벡이스탄?인도?

이 탤랜트는 진짜 바보새끼다. 와이프가 바람을 피우었으면 적당하게 그 개인 문제를 해결해야지. 그리고 원래 그 여자 문제아니냐? '한국여자 조심해라'는 소리 뭐냐? 그 여자는 책임이 없냐? 뭐 그 '문제 외국인'의 탓인가? 원래 그 여자는 파람을 피었지. 솔직히 말하면 그 자지의 색깔은 상관 없잖아.

'외국에서는' 뭐 '미국에서는 우리 한국의 문화를 모른다.' 바로 바보같은 소리고 너무너무 미식하다. 미국에서도 바람을 피우면 나쁘다고 생각하거든? 똑같이 그 것때문에 이혼하거든? 그리고 내 알기로 모든'외국'에서도 모든 다른 나라에서 비슷한데. 한국신문, 언론 앞에서 '외국인 외국인!'을 이렇게 말하는 게...참.

똑같이 초승희 사건을 생각해봐. 미국 언론이 '한국인이라서 킬러야' 아니면 '한국 유학생들이 위험성이 많다. 한국인 옆에 있으면 피하라'고 하면 한국 네티즌들이 얼마나 시끄러워했을 텐데. 뭐 아마 그 신문의 서버들을 공격했을 걸.

참. 한국에서 많은 공부, 연구, 여러가지 배웠는데 진짜 더이상은 이 유치한 나라에서 못 살겠다. 아마 니들의 반응은 '그래! 가라!'고 할 텐데 걱정마. 진짜 똑똑하거니 능력이 있는 외국인들이 점점 가는 거야 바로 이 인종차별주의적인 기사, 대접 때문에.

그 거알아? 보통 한국문화에 관심이 있는 외국인들이 한국에 와서 한국에 대해 좋게 생각하다가 8개월이ㅣ나 1년 딱 지나서 인종차별/지하철에서 욕을 먹는 거/한국언론의 너무 과장하는 가사 때문에 요즘에 한국을 미워하게 되는 것? 90년때는 좀 안그랬는데 한국은 분명히 달라 이젠. 너무 '반외국인 감정'이 심해. 그리고 자세히 보면 이유도 없어.

일단 '대~한민국!'을 외치고 나한테 욕을 해도 돼. 난 1994년에 한국에 첨음 왔는데 너무나 이 나라를 위해 많은 활동을 했는데 난 이젠 finished이야. 끝. 난 사실 바보지. 이렇게 많이 일부러 애를 썼는데 결국은 난 쓰래기잖아, 한국에서.

참. 걱정마. 10년안에 진짜로 자격이 있는 사람들이 거의 없을 거야.

Whew. And I'm happy to be writing in Korean more often these days. Helps, ya know.

"This Time in Seoul"

There's a new photographer loose on the streets of Seoul. Her name's Felicia, and she's snappin' people and takin' names. Her blog's called, as you might have surmised from the title above, "This Time in Seoul" and is off to a stellar start!

Well, there are a lot of new blogs these days, right? And in the age of Flickr, everyone's a photographer. But there aren't so many with a natural eye, a background in fashion and the arts, and an instinctive knack for meeting people – interesting and influential folks, who are the best kind. And such is a perfect combination for good bloggin'.

Felicia is relatively new to Seoul, and this is an assist to her eye, rather than a hindrance. And that freshness is not just limited to her choice of subject or framing, but also in the fact that she is constantly just out there, in the streets, shooting interesting stuff in equally interesting places.

For all that can be said about the technical aspects of photography, 90% of it is "just showing up," to paraphrase a popular quip about success. Indeed, as a photographer, 90% is simply having your camera with you at all times. And of course, it's important to keep your eyes open as well. All in all, you're just "on" all the time, which can be exhausting.

But Felicia – who has worked for Gerald Marie in Paris at the Elite Model Management agency, and already inked herself into a book project with someone prominent enough that she asked me not to mention his name yet – is already making great use of her time here in Seoul, and is lighting a fire under this Metropolitician's butt.

Her blog is definitely one to watch – for cool places to go and fresh points of view exposed – for both brand nubians to the Seoul scene, as well as jaded expats. It is very much a breath of fresh air.

Chester the Molester?!

OK – child abuse is not funny.

Still, is his name seriously...Chester?!

Get out.

Anti-Foreigner Backlash in 5...4...3...2...

Boom!

Now, let's not forget that there hasn't been a single proven allegation of any foreigner molesting children to date – oh, and we can be certain that if there were one, the yellow journalists who call themselves the Korean media would have been all over that like flies on doo doo – but now that a serious Chester has been found to have lived in Korea, it's going to be a media field day. (Like here and here and here and here...)

But before the games begin, let's not forget that even this seriously crazy fucker hasn't actually been accused of molesting children in Korea, nor as part of any English teaching. Not that that makes him any better of a person, but let's remember: the Korean media is going to use this as an excuse to paint all foreigners with the "Chester the Molester" brush, the non-scandal of the English Spectrum-gate (and that dumb post of as single dumbass) is going to be dredged up and polished off yet again, and the allegedly low sexual morals of foreigners is once again going to take center stage.

This, in a country in which sex with minors for pay actually is a well-known concept and word (the "compensated dating" that is wonjo kyojae), you can regularly read about teachers, professors, and other Korean men of good repute getting caught having sex with minors in "love motels," and even in popular culture, you can actually have plots that involve teachers wanting to have sex with their students passed off as acceptable fare (Eorini Shinbu).

I won't even go into a spiel about the many times I've heard about male teachers who inappropriately touch their students even today, and you can ask just about any Korean female over the age of 40 about whether or not they had a teacher touch them or their friends in public, without even trying to hide it, since back then, even parents trembled before the word and reputation of the lowliest of teachers.

And the Korean media will appropriately forget just who should be embarrassed here, as Korea continues to be the place that wants to pay bottom dollar (yet that pay's still pretty good) for any native speaker with a pulse.

Although this is old ranting material for regular readers of my blog, the Korean media should also ask the question of why white skin is a passport for good living in Korea – is it any wonder that a molester on the run was in Korea? 'Cause if you're a foreigner with no qualifications, a background you don't want checked, and employers who don't want to know and don't care about quality, anyway, then Korea's the perfect place to hide out.

Or, at least the perfect place to live a straight life and earn money to support your molestation habit for vacation time in Thailand.

This is not to say that this is typical of all or even most of the foreigners who live in Korea; I'm simply pointing out somewhat of the opposite – that given the lax controls, the desire for cheaper rather than better teachers, and the easy monies and silky honies that can be had with white skin – is it any surprise to find someone like this in Korea?

And whose fault would that be? The vast majority of law-abiding, normal foreigners? Or the results of a system that is so lax, unregulated, and out-of-control that you get the occasional crazy show up here?

But no, the searing light if social criticism will instead be a blinding light of racist stereotyping for a scandal that has yet even to happen. Well, the truth doesn't matter to the Korean media, anyway – hence, media outlets don't even print retractions. Perhaps that's because if they held themselves to that standard, the pages of corrections and retractions would have to occupy and entire section of the paper itself.

Anyway, some predictions:

1) More calls for background checks on foreigners that won't ever happen, and won't affect anything, anyway.

2) More "stories" printed about the allegedly lower sexual mores of foreign men.

3) No actual stories of foreign teachers having been caught doing anything with a minor, unlike what you can hear about every day in the society section of any Korean newspaper.

You can read about what I think would improve the quality of teaching and life for foreign teachers and their students alike, but it's all fantasy, since it'll never happen in a Korea that treats foreigners, no matter what we do, like walking, talking dictionaries.

"Daehan minguk!"

Korean Food Pornographer Exposes His Meat

Damn that BigHominid! Making me have a craving, too! (HT to the Nomad)

With all the clothes on, still looking...SAUCY...

Getting naughty...all that raw meat...just for me?

Getting me all stirred up! Ohhh – all that gochu...just makes me...so...so HOT!

The results – scandalous!

Budaechigae is one of my favorites, and you made it better than I've seen it in recent years. You da man.

Read the full post here.

The Decline of K-Pop

I was feeling nostalgic again, and was reminded of one of my favorite 90's songs: Cool's "Fate" (쿨의 "운명" in Korean). Now, here's a piece of trivia – one of the reason's I thought Cool was cool had to do with the one back dancer who was a bit...hefty. Yet, he was a regular part of all the group's performances and did all the moves that seemed designed for much smaller bodies to a perfect T. Yet, he was a big dude, and he stood out like crazy if you were looking closely. But stood out in a truly Cool way. Watch for him in the black t-shirt in this video below, which isn't shot as well as a lot of the TV studio stuff (and I have the unmistakable feeling that the camera was trying to avoid big dude in this performance!). Take a look:

Right? Dude – when you saw him – was working it. I always watched for him in all their videos. A true inspiration to all the big bruthas out there!

Here's the original music video, where you can also catch a glimpse if you're looking:

Oh – and it goes without saying that for the 90's, their outfits and moves were sweet, and the song catchy as hell. K-pop in its prime, not the crap that you see passed off as "talent" today (Exhibit A: the inaptly-named "Wonder Girls" – ahem.) Watch the video if you can stomach it. And note the choreography. Wow. (HT to FeetManSeoul)

Just wait until the 2nd member starts singing – and it's just DOWNHILL from there, if you can believe it. And their moves – ugh. I'm not just getting old, dudes – THESE GIRLS are the hot new thing? K-Pop is definitely going downhill.

Oh, lawd. Watch the girl in the white tank-top do her "sexy dance," followed by the girl in the black doing her rap interlude. Then the final held note at the end of the song – aaaaauuugh! It's as flat as the woman singing it. Which isn't actually an insult, people, since none of them have actually finished puberty, which is a whole 'nutha conversation.

They sound like dying penguins who need to be put out of their misery. Let's end this post on a real sexy diva from back in the 90's, who could actually sing (Pak Mi Kyung's "An Unreasonable Reason" (이유같이 않은 이유 in Korean):

Damn, Pak Mi Kyung! She needs to come back and reclaim her throne from these anorexic high school girls. And if anyone wants to dig at Mi Kyung having lip synced in that concert, I'll just say that that was customary at the time on Korean TV, and I heard the girl sing in person twice. She could blow anyone's house down, and in tune at that.

OK – final proof that K-Pop is really starting to suck the big one – Boa's remake of Pak Mi Kyung's song "Eve's Warning" (이브의 경고 in Korean). This version is still pretty new, and I've only seen audio-only uploads of this song so far.

Sorry to be un-PC, but this version sounds like it's slowed down for a performance in a home for the mentally-challenged. Seriously, it's like when I first came to Korea, loved this song, and then put it at the extra-slow speed in the noraebang because me and the Korean alphabet were still getting to know each other, and I still didn't understand most of the words on the screen.

Now, to prove my point, here's the original, sung by Pak Mi Kyung:

No contest. Even the rap's better. That's sad. Not to mention that the song's concept and lyrics are just hella smarter than a lot of the songs I hear today.

I'm not just being The Old Guy – I want to like K-Pop, but between Rain, SuperJunior, The Wonder Girls, or DBSK (read my disquisition on them as "proof" that there are indeed gay people in Korea), there's not much out there worth even the free downloads.