A Sad Day Has Come

This is the last time I will post here. My time as the "Metropolitician" is up.

I've realized a lot of things over the last week or so, since falling for a certain young lady of a more conservative persuasion, who has quite literally rocked my world. I realize that a lot of the liberal ideas I had formerly and formally adhered to were largely misconstrued notions I had held, distortions of ideological ramifications that simply had no precedence in either established fact, dilapidated fiction, or even (and not either) the demonstrated dialectics of most people's dystopic desires.

In short, a new kind of love has made me into a harder, more turgid man.

No longer will I carry the torch for a a deluded liberalism, nor be the voice for lefty illiberality. What I truly hanker for is a haughty helping of a hunk of cheese that isn't defined in terms of a mere neo-Freudian kitsch, but the kind of cheese one can count on, like money in the bank; indeed, one needs sustenance so solid and reliable one can literally stick it in a pipe and smoke it.

So I can no longer continue to write here, after having fallen for someone like the one who has learned to call me "oppa." Such is an experience I never thought I could have had, either as a black man, or a Star Trek fan, and her highly-developed sense of what I have previously called here mere "fetishized femininity" has caused in me an emotional rise that is quite epic in its tense and torpedo-like tautology. Indeed, they didn't call Moby a "Dick" for nothing, as they say. Unlike the proverbial Ahab, my little lady has actually caught her whale.

When wondering why I have decided to forgo any further forays into formalism and endorse not Barack "Aladdin" Obama, but rather John McCain, the answer becomes perfectly obvious, does it not?

When you ask yourselves these questions, as you struggle for the answers, yet still can't bring yourself to face the truth, realize that Tom Cruise once said, quite poignantly, that the "truth could not be handled" and that in a similar situation, Al Pacino pointed a finger and said that the entire Supreme Court was indeed, very much "out of order."

In the same way, I was once out of love, and was so lost without her, but believe you me -- I now realize that it's hip to be square. Or did not Huey Lewis not give you that news?

So, it is with heavy hands that I make my last entry here, since the Metropolitician that was me has completely and totally ceased to be he.

For Pak Geun-hye's youngest daughter knows how to hit me where it counts, and to not just do that to me once, but likes to hit me, baby one more time, all the time, if you catch my meaning, number one Negaroni! See, I don't shrink away from saying, loudly and proudly, what needs to be said. And if you didn't get it from the passage above, you need a double dose of dis doubletalk. April mothafuckin' fool's, bitches!

Word to your mother, yo!

Comments

[omatty]

perfect. you fucker. perfect.
damn. that's the problem with time zones and shit. i wasn't yet prepared.
damn! p.w.n.e.d.

[Kimberly]

Almost got me- I slowed down chewing my bagel, but I knew there wasn't a mama alive to take you this far. Good one.

[mavsman15]

Sir, that was funny. I was thinking, this man has finally lost it and then I get to the end of the post. I am still laughing at it.

Well Done.

[extreme webmaster]

You had me. Major ownage.

[dg611]

You lost me in the third sentence. Love doesn't change people THAT much :)

[dg611]

i'm fencerider btw:)

[The Metropolitician]

MUHWHWHWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Kimberly]

@mavsman-

I can just see you know, giddy that the Metro had finally turned tail, eh?

[huncamunca]

That was seriously scary. For a moment, I thought either the order of the universe was collapsing or someone had hacked into Michael's blog. Serves me right for skimming and missing the penultimate sentence the first time through.

[suddenly susan]

as soon as i read the words, "a certain young lady of a more conservative persuasion," i knew this was an april fool's joke.

[Figbash]

as soon as I read the words "young lady" I knew this was an April fool's joke . . .and I knew there could never really be an end to the "you know how I know you're gay" jokes directed towards Mike . . .

[kingka]

wtf... I was with you up until "alladin" obama. I honestly thought u were giving all this up for a girl. and was ready to fly over there to kick your ass... how pathetic am I to fall for that. please don't do that again. kthnksbye

[palebunny]

ah, thy poetry slayeth many

lol sorry for the corniness- feigned perhaps.

you had my heart pounding in horror at the beginning....

what a traumatizing post...

[Heart]

That was a nightmare to read. I skimmed straight to the end. Thankfully, there was a good ending :)