"Ah, Seoul."
Well, it certainly doesn't have the romantic reputation of Paris in the springtime, but Seoul is definitely the city for lovers. Everywhere you go, couples abound, and in certain places, touchy-feely pairs are the majority – Shinchon on the weekends springs instantly to mind. On a Sunday afternoon near the new Artreon movie complex, it is difficult to go about one's business alone without being acutely reminded of the fact that one is not part of a heteronormative social coupling.
Now, before I am accused of being purposely incomprehensible in my writing, let me explain what "heteronormativity" means, since I think – and this for my ESL readers – this word won't be in your electronic dictionary. Any society has certain groupings that define the majority, both in terms of numbers as well as social power. Sometimes this is not the case, as in apartheid South Africa, in which whites were the numeric minority but were the majority in terms of power. But in most cases, both definitions of majority overlap, or at least run about 50/50. So in the case of most modern industrialized countries, including South Korea, we usually have a majority ethnic group, a society controlled via its most important institutions by the male gender, as well as the ongoing efforts of a monied class to maintain control of its vested interests.
Break this down in America and the profile looks like white, Anglo-Saxon, protestant males who attended school such as Phillips Andover Academy and Yale University for three generations. [Ahem, George Bush.] Look at places like Korea and you get people with yangban (the gentry class] roots in Seoul, attended Kyeonggi High School, then Seoul National University, then the same for law school, and rode off their academic and family backgrounds into the main corridors of power. [Ahem, Lee Hoi Chang.] The fact that the present president, Noh Moo Hyeon, is a welcome departure from this pattern is besides the point of this pompous little piece. But here's the main point – there is also a majority in power in terms of sending and transmitting the signs of a heterosexual norm.
For those of you who might not take too much stock in this form of dominance by a majority, let me just suggest that the hegemony of heterosexuality is so complete that even pointing this out smacks of ridiculousness. And since the nature of belonging to this group is more performed than apparent, one might think that this doesn't even count as a conceptual category. But if you want to test it, just perform this little sociological experiment: take two males and have them caress and neck in the middle of a shopping mall in any midwestern city – note any adverse reactions. Or, alternatively, do the same in the middle of a shopping mall in the middle of the main fairway in the Coex shopping mall. Repeat frenzied notetaking.
In any case, what I find interesting in Korea is not the fact of heteronormativity, since this norm and associate behaviors exist everywhere, but rather two particular aspects of it in Korea:
1) Its degree.
People always seem to ask each other, quite early in initial social conversations, "Do you have a boy/girlfriend?" as a part of those key questions that people tend to ask each other in Korea in order to know how to talk and deal with one another. Given the hierarchical nature of the language, as well as the class and status-oriented thinking of many people, the fact that one's age, hometown, and where you went to school are first out of the gate is not surprising. But included in the litany of questions asked in order to help guide one's social positioning is that of determining whether or not one is single or not. Older people tend to be obssessively concerned with when single people are going to stop being single, while younger people seem to be curious as to a) whether you should be treated as an oppa or an option (or both) in the case of men, for instance, or b) whether you seem to have be conforming to the social norm of having a significant other and why or why not. Perhaps I'm overintellectualizing, but it's something worth thinking about, perhaps by someone of stronger anthropological acument; but I strongly believe there's something to these observations about the degree of heteronormativity here – watching the throngs of couples wildly clutching each other in seeming herds makes thinking about the subject inevitable.
2) The relatively recent nature of its public brazenness.
What is also most interesting about this recent surge in expression of heteronormativity, a.k.a "public displays of affection (PDA), is the fact that it is so intense in a society that only ten years ago (my favorite, single frame of reference) eschewed young people even holding hands in very public places, let alone each other, or even sensitive parts of each others' bodies. Ten years ago, uniformed middle and high school students holding hands was enough to cause a social ruckus, and was tempting a public scolding by someone older; nowadays, it's easy to see such students walking about arm-in-arm or hugging one another, completely absorbed in themselves and the moment. That's not something I necessarily disapprove of, nor is this at all the point of me writing this. What is most interesting is the way people seemed to view PDA as an "American" thing, something you would see in Hollywood movies. Ten years ago, people would always ask me whether people in America really kiss in the street like in the movies, or whether they really all sleep together on the first date. To the people who sometimes still insist that "Koreans do no do such things," I like to point out that I think young folks in Seoul are just as, if not more than, touchy and grabby in public. Sometimes I like to push the line that people here are more prone to PDA than back in the States, but no one seems to believe me, and I always get the "that-niggas-crazy" look. So I tend to keep that to myself. I also tend to keep to myself stories I hear from friends more frank and fun than me, ones having to do with people meeting on sogaetings (blind dates), deciding that neither one is really interested in the other, but that they're hot enough for one good roll in the hay – and off they go to a love hotel. But if I brought that up, I just might find myself committed to an asylum, so I just keep mum about what I see and hear going on amongst Korean folks who are not the professed paragons of virtue I tend to meet in the educational/academic circles I run in.
For those of you who are asking, I guess I'd say that I find these expression of affection and love refreshing in what is a publicly conservative culture (although in describing the Korea that exists behind closed doors, I'd never come within 9 feet of the C-word). That's as far as I'll go in offering my personal opinion on the matter. In the end, that's not the important thing. I just find the extreme heteronormativity of Seoul fascinating, and it's something I tend to think about in terms of many recent changes in public culture, a large part of which is influenced by the fact that participation in public life primarily takes place as a part of consumption. When we get to the subject of dating, it is an activity that takes places almost solely as a consumptive act. Importantly, dating is a very outside activity, in a country in which having your boyfriend or girlfriend enter the private space of one's home is difficult to do, given the fact that most people can't afford to, nor is it often socio-logistically possible to move out and live alone before marriage without a darn good excuse to do so.
But people find ways to take care of the necessary business created by the universal feelings of sexual and romantic attraction, and surely this must have always been the case, even in a much more publically conservative Korea of past decades. I mean, hell – even in the movie Scandal, people acknowledged that folks were getting it on even in Joseon dynasty days, so why not the 1960's? And in the year 2005? Yes, there are still some folks who try to deny that Koreans do anything that is the mark of what people do "in foreign countries" (외국에서) – whatever that means – which is by definition what Koreans do not do.
In any case, this is all a roundabout and long-winded way of getting to talking about the picture below. What surprises me is that certain people insist that "Koreans would never do anything like that in public" and the fact that the girl is wearing colored socks must mean that she's actually a Japanese tourist. In the face of the most obvious evidence that they are not Japanese tourists – I've rarely seen Japanese tourists so comfortable in public, taking the subway, and bereft of large amounts of luggage or shopping bags – and without any real convincing evidence that they are, certain people insist that this couple "could not be Korean."
The first reason given is that Koreans don't wear such colorful, fetishistic socks. Well, anyone who has been on the lower half of the peninsula in the fall and winter for the last two years must either be blind or completely oblivious to what youth are (or aren't!) wearing today. Behind my building in Myeongdong is a cart that only sells crazy colored stockings and knee socks, and they seem to clean up pretty well.
Next, doubters move to my foreignness as a chink in my defenses. Well, "foreigners can't tell the difference between Koreans and other Asians," I was once chided in response to this picture. Well, I answered, "I heard them speaking in Korean," something I specifically listened for when I was taking these shots, since I had thought in advance that people would doubt the Koreanness of the subjects. Every time something out of the perceived norm goes down in a photograph, some viewer's always thinking of a way to show that I must have confused them with some other Asians. Combined with the fact that behaviors such as is depicted in the picture below is not actually outside the norm, no matter what Jedi mind trick a Korean national tries to pull on me, there is actually nothing unusual about the scene below.
I mean, I have, with mine own eyes, seen Korean couples caressing each others' faces in public, sitting in each others' laps, rubbing thighs, pecking on cheeks, and yes, even tongue kissing. I've seen couples getting it on in the back of buses, rubbing each other down in movie theaters, even making funny faces at each other. Now, the more extreme cases are not the norm, but sometimes Korean couples do things that I would find it hard to imagine American couples doing: a woman popping her man's pimple, pulling out white hairs, scratching backs under t-shirts, picking noses, giving massages, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Now, I'm not putting such behavior down – I'm just saying that love seems to go a long way here – if you can pop your man's pimples in public, surely you have crossed that magical line past which it's probably OK to give a kiss on the cheek. Frankly, I think I'd rather see the kiss on the cheek. Perhaps Korean folks should be made more aware of this venerable American adage:
"You can pick your friends. You can pick you nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose."
Well, in Korea, apparently you can.
In the spirit of fun, let me run down a couple that was so self-absorbed in each other that they never noticed me snapping nearly a whole roll of 35mm film of them with a large, black, manual focus camera with one of the loudest motor drives ever produced by Man. The money shots on this roll were technical failures due to camera shake, but caught the act itself.
Here, we got some lovey-dovey googling action.
Before we go on in this montage, this would be the appropriate time to cue up an appropriately sappy love song, or the old standby "It's a Wonderful World." Imagine this in your head as I present some pics of various Korean couples being very "un-Korean."
A tender moment before somebody returns to the army.
A couple I came across outside the subway stop in the way home. They were so effused with affection that I asked them if I could snap them. They happily obliged.
A couple passes the time between subway trains.
An older man who had all but forced me to have a beer (on me) with him looks on wistfully at "one of 'dem new-fangled couples" or something to that effect, which is about what I could conjecture from his slurred speech. He did seem quite envious.
A couple is acting very non-Korean in Itaewon. See them foreigners? They must have having some adverse effect on them! (Koreans often overlook the fact that Itaewon has always been a play spot for young and wild – Korean folks! Go figure.
A man outside a Myeongdong movie theater seems to be consoling his lady friend, who seemed awfully eager to be consoled. They walked off together quite happily.
More subway antics. Man, those crazy Japanese tourists almost pass for Korean! But they didn't fool me! Nosirree, Bob!
On-the-go grooming.
More Japanese tourists posing as Koreans in a Hongdae dance club. And the man's Korean was so good, he could almost pass for Korean. But he didn't fool me.
Fawning and feeding. Nothing special about this picture except that sometimes when I go through negatives, I get the funny feeling that I saw a subject before. And no, I do not think all Asians look alike. In fact, just last month, I thought I spied an acquaintance from a cab that was zooming down Chongno during rush hour. Since I'm always scanning crowds and people watching, this was not so unusual, except for the fact that I actually had been thinking about the fact that I had forgotten to contact that particular acquaintance – she writes for a photo magazine that could have advertised for my exhibit, stupid me – so I decided to give her a ring and ask if she was walking along Chongno towards the Millennium Building at Chonggak. She is very nondescript and was wearing what every woman in her late 20's working in an office building wears to the office – nothing particularly striking. She was surprised to hear that I had seen her and I had my little bit of prankster fun. And I can officially say that I do not think all Asians or Koreans look alike. But sometimes I come across people in my negatives and think, "Hmmm. Doesn't that girl look kinda like the girl who was standing with her soldier friend?" See the picture near the top of this batch. I know it can't be the same girl – but you gotta admit, kinda spooky, right?
I have a lot of negatives, by the way. Anything's possible.
Student fun. Man, those Japanese tourists come in kinda young, don't they? And why would they be wearing Korean school uniforms? Well, they can't be Korean, since Korean students don't do that and hey! She's almost touching his butt! Japanese for SURE!
Pesky Japanese student-tourists again.
Biting action outside of a KTF store. Told you those Japanese we strange folks. Wearing Korean office uniforms and biting each other and stuff. Sheesh. What is the world coming to?
Now, for the final picture, all kidding aside, here are some REAL Japanese students and I am the only tourist in sight. I asked, in halting Japanese, "Shashin," as I pointed to my camera, "daizhobu?" They did not speak Korean, so don't get the funny idea that they were actually Korean student-tourists posing as Japanese kids.
After a beat, they awkwardly obliged, withi the girl suddenly throwing up her hand to her mouth in an instant of coy affectation. The boy stands by, looking eminently cool with his loosened tie and playa stance. On my first trip to Japan, I got the most Japanesy picture I could have ever wanted. Thanks, cute student couple. You made my overnight layover in Narita worth it, as the many Korean couples above did as I have been furtively snapping pictures and catharsizing my envy and loneliness as a newbie to Seoul and the big city.
My favorite moment in Japan. How do you get more "Japanese" than this? As a photographer-tourist, this was more than I could have ever asked for. Yeah, baby, yeah!
