Thanks, Marmot, for giving me postworthy inspiration.
Take a quick look at his post on a homemade trap for the scourge of the Korean summer – the dreaded mogi (Korean for mosquito). He follows the instructions of some smart Taiwanese kid's science experiment, to be followed by a report as to his version's effectiveness.
But instead of "모기잡는통" (Mosquito Catcher), do you think "모기학살기" (Mosquito Mass Murder Machine) might be better? Or perhaps that might be better applied to this machine below, were it ever marketed in Korea. I personally think the latter name might more aptly describe its functioning.
Well, apparently, the Taiwanese kid's engineering principle works, with the difference being just a matter of efficacy and scale. Meet The Mosquito Mega-Catch.™
Sweet Jesus! What hath God wrought? This Terminator Tank of Terror costs $200 and works on basically the same principle as that being exploited by the young Taiwanese student cum would-be mechanic of mass mosquito murder. One major theory behind how mosquitos track their hosts is that they zero in on our carbon dioxide emitted from our breath. From the company's website:
"Easily the best non-propane unit on the market, the Mega-Catch is virtually maintenance free: just plug it in and turn it on. The trap uses a strip of octenol (to generate a scent that resembles breath), a UV bulb, and flashing LEDs (oscillating frequencies determined to coincide with spectral sensitivities of many mosquitoes). When mosquitoes get close to the trap, the patented airflow system that disperses the attractant sucks the insects inside, where they are collected in a mesh catch bag or a liquid catch pan that is easy and safe to empty. In a USDA suburban test, our trap captured up to 1,200 mosquitoes in a single night and diminished mosquito populations over an entire acre. The LCD can be programmed so the trap operates around the clock or only during peak hours such as mornings and evenings. Energy efficient Mega-Catch uses AC power (60' cord with weatherproof connectors included). A cloth skirt (included) wraps around the trap for proper octenol dispersion and optimal suction. Octenol needs to be replaced after three weeks of use (more available below). Catch bag and liquid catch container (you can use either) are kept behind a lockable door for safety. Comes with a stand, or can be hung from a tree (optimal height is around 3' from ground). Durable all-weather plastic unit comes fully assembled. 16" H x 10 1/2" W x 12" L. (10 lbs.)"
Holy Mosquito Holocaust, Batman! I don't know whether to jump for joy or feel vaguely queasy. I also don't know whether buying a unit that's designed to "diminish mosquito populations over an entire acre" is quite what I need for my two-room officetel, but such a machine should be able to definitely eliminate the few buggers in my place, right? RIGHT?!
Mosquitos make me crazy. In the old Fulbright dorms, where I lived back in 2002, I closed my windows, taped the cracks, never left the door open, keep my bathroom fan running (positive air pressure out means no mosquitos in) and covered the drain hole of my bathroom, while never opening my bathroom door. No mosquitos.
But sometimes one would get in. Or a few. When I lived in Chejudo back in 1994, mosquitos would just be sucking on me all night, to the point where sometimes I wanted to just get naked, spreadeagle on the bed and let 'em have at me, then hope that they'd be sated for the evening and leave me alone.
Still, we should "Never give up! Never surrender!" I feel like the Taiwanese kids puttering away with potions and test tubes and beakers have channeled this spirit and it makes me feel good that people out there are still working on this.
Intensity.
Victory.
And I liiiiiike the fact that there are machines that one commenter on the OhGizmo! site aptly described as looking like the machines Egon invented that the Ghostbusters all had strapped to their backs. Maybe that's why I like it over all the many, many alternative ways to catch and kill a mosquito.
One thing that one might think evolution might have caused to advance more is the flap of the mosquito's wings, but thinking about it – mosquitos are pretty stealthy, until they come right up next to your ear, that is. Maybe the next step will involve nanotechnology and guided missiles that key off of mosquito wing flaps and are launched upon the detection of any pre-programmed pest with wings. Ground-to-air missiles against mosquitos? Yeah!
And just to see some fact imitating fiction, here are some would-be-Ghostbusters who made their own particle beams, a la the movie.
By the time I'm 60, I'm sure there will be things in the world that will look just about that wondrous – and ridiculous.
Brave New World, here we come!
