You gotta love North Korean press releases, though.
"The nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology 100 percent. It marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased the KPA (Korean People's Army) and people that have wished to have powerful self-reliant defense capability," KCNA reported." (quoted from CNN.com)
I have always loved the bombastic, revolutionary tone of the KCNA.
I just hope we don't become a "sea of fire", as the Norks promised if the US or, I assume the UN, since they see it as basically the bitch-boy of the US, and hey, aren't too far off the mark) ever attacks.
And to all those student protestors I remember talking about "Our race SHOULD get the nuclear bomb! It will be a pride for the Korean race!"
If Seoul goes up in a nuclear fireball as a response to a US/UN attack on nuclear facilities in Nortk Korea, I'll be thinking of you.
For probably the second or so between seeing the flash and the fireball emanating from ground zero at the Korean Defense Ministry/Yongsan 8th Army Base that will incinerate me, my building, and everything for a couple miles. I might get a few more seconds if I'm in eastern Seoul for the day, where my eardrums will be blown out by the pressure wave before the building I'm gets blown into rubble.
"We are one people" may be right, but don't mistake that for North Korea not being able to turn the South into a bloody mess. They did it before. Will they do it again? Sure, it's hard for South Koreans to imagine dropping their Pradas and Playstations in the event of an attack, or thinking critically about the fact that the North has been effectively holding the South as a nuclear hostage to get food, aid, and investment money, but from a starving country's perspective, which feels as if the world is out to get it (and they're not too wrong about that, either), is it so unimaginable?
Personally, I don't consider someone with a gun to my head demanding food, money, and a helicopter on the roof a business partner, investment interest, or friend. And even if I'm related to that guy, he's still a crazy mothafucka for putting a gun to my head.
And now he's fired a test shot!!!
But rest easy, folks – from the ample data collected from the last time nukes were used on civilian populations – Hiroshima and Nagasaki – Seoul is very similar to the latter city, in that it is quite hilly and mountainous. Depending on where you are, you might avoid the heat flash and direct blast wave completely, escaping to enjoy your hair falling out and dying of radiation poisoning. sparing that, you might even get away with just being sterile or being able to produce deformed offspring.
Man, I wish I was back in Chejudo, chilling, like I was in the mid-90's. At least then, I'd have had time to pack my bags, pack the cats up, write a few emails, mull over which valuable electronics to put in my carryon bag, take a shower, brush my teeth, and made sure to do Mr. Poopy before picking up my boarding pass to get on the plane that would get me the sam fuck off the peninsula – wait, I'd already be off it! – before the real war starts.
Seoul will be either shellacked into rubble with artillery or, alternatively (and with more flair and flash) nuked into oblivion. In any case, it'd all be over in a day. It's a crap shoot, like all life is.
I'm just gonna go on living, hoping I don't die today. Which is what we do every day, right? So today might be sunny and uneventful, I might die in a nuclear flash, or get hit by a car. Who knows? I'll just leave it up to fate, since I've got shit to do.
And yeah, you're gonna say, "Metropolitician, you're being so negative!"
Well, any news that significantly increases my chances of being instantly vaporized, merely incinerated, or just crushed to death under tons of rubble is news that I find pretty fucking negative.
But anyway, as I said, I've got shit to do. Peace.
Seriously.
Peace.
