Well, actually, I kinda like it, but that's besides the point.
Just got wind of the "Dynamic Korea UCC Festival" and am busy watching the videos.
They're atrocious and exactly – to a T – what I expected.
Seriously – even *I* am surprised at how pat and patriotic they are. "Korea's Excellence and Dynamics"? It's a slickly-produced propaganda video with a special-effects shot starting from space that zooms in on the Korean peninsula and enters into a slideshow of palaces, famous Korean people, and the ubiquitous World Cup ejaculation shot, all over a rousing-but-synthesized orchestral soundtrack that sounds like The Rock soundtrack (which was also synthesized) meets Riverdance on acid. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
This is UCC? If this is "user-produced content", then KOIS (Korean Overseas Information Service) must be working with the CIA (Crack Induced Axxxxxx).
Some of it is actually scarily comedic. Take, for example, "What a Wonderful World", which is a slideshow of tourism poster shots delivered over – get this – the song of the very same name. What is semiotically interesting is watching the mechanical literal interpretation that the video delivers to accompany the familiar lyrics; we actually see "trees of green" from extremely Photoshopped Baekdusan, "red roses too" from the thatched roof huts of (probably) the Cheju Traditional Folk Village, cutaways to flowers blooming.
We are treated to "the colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky" in the standard low depth-of-field, sideways shot of palace roof architecture that is linked with them being "also on the faces of people going by" in a shot of – no surprise – a demure woman in a beautiful hanbok.
Yawn.
But what gets funny is when the video gets to "I love you" we get extreme flying taekwondo kicks? Then it gets literal again with "watching babies cry" before jumping into off the track again into a bank of televisions, set up Paik Nam June-style and visually juxtaposed against "think to myself." What's going on here?
The list is exactly what I feared, and the exact opposite of what these ministries want. I know it's the KOIS, and they're supposed to promote the country. But come on. This is the best they can do? Korea doesn't have anything else besides static palaces, demure women in hanboks, shots of the Millennium Building, and taekwondo, for God's sake?
This is the same tourist crap that didn't impress me when I first came to Korea in 1994, yet I still was very excited about coming. Has Korea not figured out the appeal of their own previous slogan (and much better than "Korea, Sparkle", which I knew about but promised not to leak, which someone else apparently did – and thank God, because that one's just too rich!), that it's the dynamic part that makes life interesting?
I'm not going to go to Korea to see the frickin' semiconductor assembly lines, nor the Power of Pohang Steel™.
The entire parade of "winners" is exceedingly sad. It's actually embarrassing. It makes Korea look like the poor, awkward kid who made it big, but has come back to the high school reunion wearing a silk Versace suit, platinum chain, and diamond rings to hand out business cards laminated in gold edging.
OK – we get it.
I mean, the Korean Tourism Organization once had President Noh Moo Hyun in one of their tourism spots a few years ago. You don't put your president in tourism commercials. You just don't. Not if you're the prideful country you claim to be. Could you have imagined Koizumi at the time saying "Konichiwa! Come see Japan!" in that country's equivalent promotional media?
And finally, tone down the nationalism, please. I don't have time to torture myself with "Japan's Lying! We Know the Truth about Dokdo" right now. You know, sometimes you're right – but if you're the red-faced guy yelling at the cocktail party, you still look like an idiot. You can be right but totally embarrass yourself.
And don't even get me started on the nearly unintelligible English in some of the videos. I know, I know – I don't want to get on anyone because of their English, since Koreans have enough complexes about speaking it and should be encouraged to use it instead of apologize for it for fear of making mistakes that are fine, really, fine to make – but these are supposed to be for the world to see?
They don't have to be perfect, but they shouldn't feel like reading Foucault translated into Russian and then into English by Babelfish.
And "Looking at Korea By Statistics" isn't there too much of that, already?
"The Republic of Korea is the world-wide 5th nuclear atomic energy powerful country which possesses the nuclear power plant."
Oook. Thanks.
The fact that this is called UCC is almost funny in itself. Well, it would be, if most of "UCC" wasn't actually commericalized pap desperately try to not appear so. At least UCC tries (yet fails) to cover its commercially embarrassing motivations; these propaganda videos fail to do anything by wear their one-dimensional pitches on their sleeves.
It's almost like the guy who comes to the door with a memorized spiel about magazines who has that empty look in his eye, who makes you feel vaguely uncomfortable, kind of sorry for him, yet kind of distrustful, like you're being swindled.
And you're probably not; but you still feel like somebody's hand might be in your pocket.
