Scribblings of the Metropolitician

Back in SEOUL Magazine!

FeetManSeoul.com now has a regular column in SEOUL Magazine, so that means my photographs are getting published again, and old friends are back together. You might recall that back in the mag's infancy, I did a monthly photo column for around a year-and-a-half before we went our separate ways, but now that I've got much more experience under my belt and my interests have gone in different directions, and SEOUL Magazine has diversified and grown quite a bit since then themselves, our interests find themselves overlapping once again.

It's good to be publishing pics again, as well as having another medium to be shooting for. And thanks be to our writer Gomushin Girl, who did the text – she's a talented writer with a flair for the fabulous.

You can also get a PDF of the current issue or pick one up in any major bookstore.

Legal Rights for Foreigners, circa the American 1850's?

I guess using the historical example of American chattel slavery as an example is rhetorically extreme, in that none of us Americans are working under conditions of bondage, but did you ever think about what it means that your testimony as a foreigner, in case you have to defend yourself legally, is essentially meaningless against a Korean's? You should know:

-- The police regularly ignore the testimony of foriegners as invalid. A cop in my recent case even said that it was "meaningless" to accept the story of my American friend, and that it was "a good thing you had a Korean with you" since hers was the only testimony that could help me, despite the obvious fact that she was in my party. I guess her imagined impartiality as a pureblood Korean outweighs her likely partiality to me personally. Lovely.

-- Another foreigner told me of having been sued for libel and when asked to testify, a translator was not allowed to hear his statement in court. Meaning, it was rendered effectively meaningless.

-- I'm told by those involved in legal cases here that this is the case.

-- I've seen with my own eyes a Korean hooker who attacked a group of girls whom she didn't like, then claim she was attacked first. Against a crowd of Korean onlookers who hadn't even been there when I saw the attack start, my testimony was completely ignored. In fact, I was made to wait outside the police station and had to DEMAND that they accept my written statement, which they did only after they marveled, "You can write in Korean?"

Indeed, as King Sejong said about learning Korean, "a wise man" could allegedly learn it in a day, and even "a fool" could in "a fortnight." I guess if I'm speaking fluent Korean and the KKK (Korean Keystone Kops) are marveling that I can write what the Korean government always refers to as "the world's most scientific alphabet" and claims is the "easiest to learn," that would make me a drooling idiot.

So, if it's true that a drunk man with no job, no cellphone, who lives in a boarding house, can randomly say I kicked him and drag me into this legal morass to the point that I have to prove that I DID NOT hit him (whereas the real burden of proof legally should fall on him to actively PROVE THAT I DID), basically, because he's Korean, and my testimony is worthless against his in this his-word-against-mine case, I'm GUILTY UNTIL I CAN PROVE OTHERWISE.

And since it's my status as a foreigner that has placed me in this precarious legal position, and I'm told that the foreigner witnesses, no matter how many, invariably don't count against even one Korean, I am inevitably reminded of the American Slave Codes, circa the 1850's: “

It is an inflexible and universal rule of slave law, founded in one or two States upon usage, in others sanctioned by express legislation, THAT THE TESTIMONY OF A COLORED PERSON, WHETHER BOND OR FREE, CANNOT BE RECEIVED AGAINST A WHITE PERSON." (citation)

Am I being extreme in asking whether this sentiment would describe the inner thoughts of many in this society, and the legal chances of most foreigners in a Korean court of law?

Foreigners are "beings of an inferior order, and altogether unfit to associate with the Korean race, either in social or political relations, and so far inferior that they had no rights which the Korean is bound to respect."

Anyone know where that adapted quote finds its origins? Quick! American History pop quiz!

Coming Soon: All About Cameras

A reader – you know who you are – wrote me not too long before the big arrest-fest about what equipment I used, how to shop for a digital camera, and what to look for.

Over the last summer, I helped three friends buy a DSLR camera, all at the guy I use for almost all my photo hardware needs. One of them has become a big mama blogger and avid photographer since then. (Are you reading This Time in Seoul? You should be.) I recommend the same basic camera body for most people, but different lenses, depending on what people do.

I'm going to be working on the "what camera will do you right on the streets" post as my next "big mama" post – I like taking it back to photo and writing something practical once in a while, ya know?

And I can give some pointers on taking better pictures in general, if you'll have them.

Loving the Street Portraits

Just put up another post over on FeetManSeoul.com and am really happy with the direction the street portraits and my photography are taking. I am jazzed again about collecting images of people looking into the camera and capturing their personalities on film. It was one of my first projects when I first came here, but which got difficult to keep up. Now, I feel like I'm returning, somewhat, to some of the original things I was doing when I was still fresh in my photo work in 2002.

Go back and re-visit those original motivations in the first draft of the first chapter of the cancelled photo book, in which there are some of the last public pictures of the reknowned Korean photographer Kim Ki Chan, whom I had the honor to interview and photograph a year before he passed on.

"Kill Me, Kill Me, K-k-k-k-k-kill me!"

Or, so might my version of the "Tell Me" song go, a song that one can't seem to escape – and I don't even OWN a TV. Or, as the soon-to-be-dead, coming-of-age initiate pleaded to Timothy Dalton's character in the Arborea scene of the 1980 camp sci-fi classic, Flash Gordon: "End it now. Spare me the madness!" – so do I share said sentiment every time I see some star start to shimmy shoulders on the telly to that taudry tune. Dang! My alliterative workout for the day is definitely done.

Anyhoo, I just put up a post on FeetManSeoul about this recent "wave" involving the Wonder Girls "shaky shoulder dance." Not quite as bad as the "achy breaky heart" and associated shenanigans, but its extra-annoying.

"So, I'm just gonna say it: the Wonder Girls have no talent. None. Oh, come on. Don't get mad. Just think about it objectively for a minute. They can't sing AT ALL and they can't dance to SAVE THEIR LIVES. Do you remember their first live performance of "Tell Me"? It was terrible. Horrible. I'm scarred for life. On my eyes. And not using Michael Jackson or someone as the standard, because Korea has enough good dancers to compare with, from all the way back to Seo Taiji and the Boys to Boa and Lee Hyori. They can at least perform decent dances. But what is all this "shaky shoulder dance" crap? So they wiggle suggestively in sync? Whoa – what a concept. *I* can do that, and I'm in my mid-thirties with a gut. I just have to channel my old Kid-n-Play/MC Hammer moves made in front of the TV, but if you give me a few minutes and the motivation, I CAN do the Wonder Girls dance. And what's with them being 14 Western age? That's just pervy, dude, since the two 14-year-olds LOOK 14. We're not talking Britney at 17 with the tongue-in-cheek schoolgirl video – we're talking Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver with the disturbingly bad makeup job. Eww."

"But now, we have a Wonder Girls dance "wave"? Nooo. Not another "wave." And for what? Some rejects from an audition for the Doosan cheerleaders now working as street dancers opening a Paris Baguette could do the "Tell Me" dance better than the Wonder Girls. Has Korean pop culture really gotten so bad? There isn't anyone more talented who can be on stage during prime time? This is it? And what's more, now we have announcers on variety shows following along to the dance for fun and showing up IN THE NEWS for doing it. Why? Let it die."

A far more extended post is available on the FeetManSeoul site.

Also, Paris Hilton

It's a bit late, but FeetManSeoul offers a photographer's breakdown of the Korean press corps' onerous omission of any decent shot of Paris Hilton in a hanbok. But they seemed to be pretty good at upskirt shots. Come on – it's Paris Hilton! Is there really anything left to the imagination? At least the press photographers should be able to focus on something besides that, especially given that we've seen it already, right?

Me, On AP

This is absolutely painful to watch.

But it's not every day one gets to be interviewed by the Associated Press, and I guess I should make some official recognition of this video's existence. Plus, my mom will like it.

Oh, but I'm not at all 6' tall. Not even close.

And On the Home Front...

Found a curious link from a blog that is new to me, called KimChi Kids. Here the author recalls a day at the museum, in which she got treated to the ongoing and nerve-wrackingly subtle racism that definitely takes its toll on people; no wonder many Black folks almost pine for the "old days" when it was at least clear. But then again, most people actually think about what the "old days" actually meant and quickly break out of that reverie. An excerpt, regarding being condescended to by an old, white biddie at the science museum,:

When I tell this story to someone, say a coworker, I will witness a few eyerolls. Oh, for god's sake, give it up! It's not like they left a noose on your desk... oh, wait, even that's not such a big deal. Lighten up!

I wonder how they would feel if these itty-bitty not-so-subtle everyday racially motivated snubs came their way... every day... in front of their children... When they all add up, these incidents are not so mundane, not so subtle, not so 'not a big deal'...

So I am faced with a challenge. Do I pick a fight with every single person who chooses to be patronizing, be condescending, and pretend that I am invisible?

I like how that's articulated, and how she illustrates that it's most frustrating to have to deal with this in front of your kid all the time. And how do you prepare them to deal with the sad and pathetic people like the one described in her story?

Because, indeed, a noose on the desk is almost easy – there are bad people in this world and they dislike you because of your skin color – OK, not so bad. But it's the little subtle things that build up and work to convince you that you are what they think you are. That's the subtle kind of racism that one really has to work hard to keep out of your head.

In a comment to that blog post, Cat makes a really good point about people in America perhaps not standing up to their non-racist commitments in all situations:

It's interesting that over here in the expats in Korea blogosphere, we have been discussing this incident, with a lot of people surprised that no one intervened on the blogger's behalf. I wonder how many of the white expats here who are upset when they are treated badly have, when they are back home, listened to someone tell a racist joke, or make catcalls at someone, and be embarrassed but without doing anything.

Well said.

New Comment Policy, Safer Environment

In light of the recent slew of purely rude comments that detract from my desire to blog, I'm finally implementing a new comment policy: authentication is now on.

I should have done this a long time ago, but then, trolls were few and occasional. Now, I am deleting idiotic and irritating comments about my intelligence, or ones that link my writing to bodily functions and four letter words, and other general notes of ill will on a daily basis. It's really disheartening, and no matter how much people say "just ignore the trolls", the irritation adds up, and the viciousness does translate into discouragement eventually.

So, all this means, dear regular commenter, is that you have to make an account, once only, like you have to on any Wordpress blog; the only difference (and advantage!) is that this account is good for ANY Typepad site, as opposed to only this one. For example, if you are a regular commenter on say, the Marmot's Hole, you have an account with that site only; with us, it's the same thing, except that your account is good with Metropolitician and any other site running on Typepad. And if you already have a Typepad account, you're good to go.

This new way of doing things will hopefully benefit my regular readers with minimal irritation (just register once!) and maximally discourage the invisible trollers who lurk about this little drinking hole, biting those who drink from it with impunity. So it's no wonder that even with open commenting on, the vast majority of commenters are one-timers who don't know how nasty it can get, or the intrepid few regulars who will say what they want, regardless of whatever trolls there are. Hopefully, this policy will make it safer for friendly lurkers to come on out, nix the spam problem, and encourage a more honest discussion in which people have to actually be responsible for what they say, to the extent that it is linked to at least a working email address. Effectively, we've fenced in our water hole and simply required that you record your ID at the door; but once you've done that and you're a regular, you just have to nod at the bouncer -- he already knows you.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhh."

So, if you want to actually comment on something constructively, then do so. You don't have to agree with me, or even like me. But you do have to actually be saying something besides "I hate this blog and its writer." And if you violate any of the following rules, I will zap your comment and ban you, which means your authenticated ID will now be useless, at least for this blog. Here are the conditions under which I will likely zap you:

- If you make ad hominem attacks against me (although I'll probably let it stay, for the record) or another commenter (unacceptable)

- If your overall level of snark (acceptable) turns into being downright rude (unacceptable)

- If you have nothing constructive to say besides how much you hate this blog, its writer, another person, or group of people. This is troll territory, and I am the arbiter of whether or not you are trolling. This isn't the New York Times, it's a blog. And even the NYT will delete abusive comments.

To use another metaphor, remember that this is a cocktail party, and everyone here is a guest, and I'm hosting. If a guest starts getting frisky, irritating or harrassing the other guests, or even starts slapping and hitting them, they get thrown out. Act a fool, you're going out on the street. And if the host is neglectful, people will start not coming to the party.

This host is ready to start cleaning house, and the first step is get rid of the few idiots who ruin it for everyone else by killing the mood. For my far more numerous and regular readers, I encourage you to please go through the registration process by commenting on this post, and thereafter enjoy an even EASIER commenting process, since you'll no longer have to fill in the Name/Email/URL form every time you put up a comment.

And a final message to the trolls -- I could never understand why you keep coming back to a place that you yourself declare beneath your intelligence or dignity; why would you keep coming back to a place like this? If one doesn't like seeing men making out, don't go to a gay bar. If one doesn't like black people, one avoids soul food restaurants. Hate animals? Don't go to the zoo every Sunday. Yet, these people seem to just love to go to places where they dislike the people and just aren't wanted.

I never understood such people, but these pathologically abnormal types seem to congregate around my blog -- with the fundamental flaw in their psyche being that they actually think they're normal. Well, I'm no longer going to enable their anti-social tendencies, like the psycho who goes to a Latvian community event and starts harassing the patrons with how lame Latvian food is and how much s/he hate Latvians.

As a host, I've been neglecting my responsibilities for far too long, under the naive belief that a completely open system means a more actually open environment. On the Internet, quite the opposite is true, since one has to put up a few barriers and gates in order to create safe spaces.

And now, welcome to a new kind of party, where even the trolls might be forced to act civil!

Alas, She Is Done

Well, almost. But as far as her blogging goes, done she is, it seems.

And what impact does a single blog and a single person make? A lot. Three years is a long time to be not only just working and teaching, but to also be involved with the kinds of entertainment, artistic, and charity endeavors that we've been lucky enough to glimpse through her page.

Her charm, wit, and and inimitable ability to "do Korea" with style was a pleasure to watch, be involved with, and simply read about. Truly, she's the kind of fellow foreigner I'd like to see more of here – artistic, creative, talented, and truly motivated by an inner drive to create something for others to not just see, but to participate in, take ownership of, and just plain feel.

We, and Korea, were lucky to have her.

Check out her blog and leave a friendly comment on this post. I think it'd be a nice gesture and a good way to say goodbye!