I give up. You know what we should do, if we want to use the "politics of shame" to show just how stupid these requirements are? A slight affectation of a unified movement to discourage new teachers from coming to Korea might be an interesting proposition.
And in saving some newbies some trouble, and actually filling the Google rankings with advice to avoid Korea, that might result in some interesting reactions from the Korean side of things. Here's my message, which is somewhat affected, but still sincere:
Let me just say right now that the only reason I'm staying in Korea is because I have an F-4 and am not subject to these requirements. But I am ever required to give drug and HIV tests in order to work, or rip out my single original copy of my diploma sitting in a frame in my mother's home in Ohio, it will be time for me to leave this country.
I'm not going to pop a vein and allow my personal privacy to be violated, nor allow some administrative bureaucrat to slide my pristine copy of my diploma around some copy machine when a transcript with a raised seal will do.
If that transcript is good enough to get a job with the CIA, it's good enough for the fucking Korean Ministry of Education.
I've got shit I need to do here, and shit I enjoy doing here. I'm grandfathered in. I've put too much energy into this country, society, and language to quit now. That's why I'm staying. That's the only reason.
But my patience with this country has worn pretty thin, and I'm having trouble right now not going over to the "dark side" and starting to hate this place. I might have to start looking for ruby crystals for my lightsaber soon. I'm struggling with another "dark time", just as I did in early 2003, when I would hear the word "nigger" more times in a week than I had in all the time I had spent in Korea to that point (more than 3 years, actually).
Things are changing, people, and it's for the worst.
My advice for newbies interested in teaching English as a means of living in Asia, I am sad to suggest:
DON'T COME TO KOREA. GO TO JAPAN OR CHINA.
Korea and Koreans, no matter what is said, doesn't really want foreigners here. We are treated like criminals by the law, and in the law. The media represents us as nothing more than drug fiends, AIDS carriers, and child molesters.
If you don't want to be treated as such by the law, required to submit a criminal background check, submit to drug and HIV tests, and have to submit your original diploma just to teach in some unprofessionally-run institute or elementary school in which whatever skills and ability you have won't be respected anyway...
DO NOT COME TO SOUTH KOREA TO LIVE AND TEACH.
Japan is much more urbane and sophisticated, more global and developed, and much more able to be a place where you can enjoy your life as a foreigner.
I'm sorry to have to say this, but I've come to the conclusion that much of my ability to enjoy my life here is simply because I have an F-4, which essentially allows me to be treated somewhat like a human being here, and allows me to survive here.
If I had to have an E-2 visa, I would be giving up my rights to privacy, personal dignity, and self-respect. And I can't, in good conscience, continue to lie about a culture that I do care about, because it has become outrageously racist and xenophobic to the point that basic gestures of respect are ignored in regards to foreigners here.
I've lived here since before it was comfortable to live here (from 1994-1996) and from 2002 to the present. I've studied Korean and defended the culture and its weak points to no end, no matter how much I've offered criticism on this blog.
But I'm going to stop that now.
If you have to come to Korea on an E-2 or C-7 visa, given the ludicrous requirements and the extreme power any organization you work with will have over you, which speaks to the basic problem of a lack of professionalism and even the possibility of being exploited by your employer even BEFORE these regulations went into effect – I would warn you:
STAY AWAY FROM KOREA.
GO TO JAPAN, since you will enjoy yourself more, and not be subject to the increased level of unprofessionalism and exploitation that will be one of many side effects of this visa change.
Or, GO TO CHINA, which has a much richer cultural heritage and history that is obvious everywhere you go, and learning the language will benefit you more than Korean, anyway.
IF YOU ARE A BEGINNER IN THIS RACE, and all other things are equal, why would you choose Korea? In all honesty, right now, I can't give this country my endorsement for foreigners to come live here as teachers, unless you have "Korean blood", which Korea will recognize as your ticket to being treated like a human being.
If you have some other specific skill that will allow you to exist here on a non-teaching visa, perhaps you will also be able to enjoy life.
But if you are a nice kid who just wants to spend some time in Asia after college, or are the kind of person who is truly interested in learning about other cultures, save yourself the humiliation of jumping through these hoops only to be treated to broken contract terms, stigmatization of having to prove that you are NOT a needle-sharing, HIV+, child molester – spare yourself the indignity and frustration.
Korea isn't a country for "nice people" to just come and have an experience in anymore, but a place where only the thickest-skinned survive, those very, very desperate to teach here, or have a clear and specific reason to be here.
If you're just a nice kid from Saskatchewan or Iowa, go to Japan and China. You're much more likely to not end up bitter and cynical, like me.
Seriously.
Agree with those sentiments? Then in your own words, on your own blog, tell the would-be English teachers of the world to "CHOOSE JAPAN!"
What do you have to lose? You get to use the other side of that double-edged sword of Korean national pride to perhaps show just how stupid these regulations are, while doing something concrete to help raise your billable hours in the long run.
Wouldn't that be a hoot? The expat blogosphere trying to put a dent in the supply of English teachers? Korea doesn't seem to want us? Let's help out! Do your part and advocate "GO JAPAN!" today!
