OK. Yesterday, I went down to the KTF center at the Ipark Mall in Yongsan and got Darth Vader on 'em. In Korea, I learned very quickly that when you become a problem they would like to sweep under the rug, unless you are either a) scary and imposing, b) extremely irritating, or c) able to drop the name of someone you know whom they are afraid of, nothing gets done.
Yesterday, a guy I know who happened to be in the middle of his own phone saga (he changed passports and they cut off his phone after years of being a VIP customer in good standing) got his "unsolvable" problem solved by threatening to call the Seoul mayor's office, to which he actually demonstrated her does have connections. Phone reconnected in a record 2 minutes after threat, after weeks of being told "it is impossible." KTF is full of some old-school Korean shit.
In my own case, I went down there, guns a-blazing, talking angrily and saying things like, "No, you're not just a human being. You work for KTF, you represent KTF, you ARE KTF! Stop saying it's not your responsibility! I don't look at you as an individual. You are KTF! Answer my questions!" In Korea, if you're an asshole, shit gets done. And the representative behind the counter was just stupid. As was the one on the phone last Monday. Without getting into the individual conversations, let me list the reasons I was apparently not qualified.
But first, you must know that I have an F-4 visa. Which gives me the right to register a business like a Korean, work without a visa like a Korea, even buy land and own major amounts of property like a Korean. The only thing I can't do is vote. Legally, though, an F-4 is a Korean. But not to KTF:
-- The lady said I needed to extend my visa period (2 years) to cover the 2-year contract. She said people do that all the time. The lady at immigration laughed and said that was bullshit. You can't extend your visa at will, and especially for a cellphone. You can only do the F-4 extension from one month or so before your period ends. Not a year. Fuck you and your explanation. HISSSS-PA. HISSS-PA.
-- The girl at the counter yesterday said that my Foreigner ID card wasn't actually one, since it said I was a "person of Korean descent" on the card (my card actually says "외국국적동포국내거소신고증") which simply indicates I am a person holding a "foreign person of Korean descent residency card" -- a different KIND of foreigner ID. A higher type than the general one, more akin to an American "green card" in a rough sense, versus someone on a more general visa. Except I have to renew it. But my foreigner ID is RIGHT there, with the proper type and number of digits. I quickly ripped her a new asshole for implying that my card was somehow not valid. That's simply wrong and she was trying to get out of having to deal with me anymore because she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. At which point, she should have consulted someone she knew, rather than bullshit her way out of the situation. HISSSSS-PA. HISSSSS-PA.
-- The number apparently doesn't "go into" the system. Not my fucking fault, either. And I told them that I suspected that KTF hadn't entered foreigner ID's into their system or had not updated it to accept them. Other major companies have -- Naver is a great example -- and I don't have any problems getting confirmed by them. KTF's simply bonks and doesn't recognized it. Like many companies, I suspect they haven't updated, but unfortunately, there don't seem to be any penalties for not complying. Anyway, not my fucking problem. HISSSS-PA. HISSSS-PA.
So, I continue not yelling, but commanding, demanding, and exhorting: "Other companies don't have these ridiculous requirements that haven't changed in a decade, which discriminate against foreigners! Any foreigner can register with SK or the other carriers and simply pay a deposit! Why do you keep saying KTF 'CAN'T'? What you're really saying is you 'WON'T'! And in my case, I have the same rights as a Korean national, but you won't register my card? What is wrong with KTF?!" On and on. HISSSSS-PA. HISSSS-PA.
I am now Darth VADER. The Angriest Black Man in the Universe. And not taking shit off nobody.
And guess what?
I was absolutely right. After spending an hour on the phone calling several different places, running back and forth between a couple different locations in the mall, and even calling the personal number, apparently, of someone working in an internal service area of KTF that had a constantly busy line, it TURNS OUT that:
KTF installed a new system just last month that is supposed to accept my kind of foreigner registration number. They agreed that my number and situation is "100% correct." What apparently happened is that within the system, there is supposed to be communication between the deposit clearance system and KTF's registration system. When you put in a number from a center, it goes across to the clearance system, is approved, then sent back. When they put in my number directly over at deposit clearance, it's approved. On the KTF side, it's also approved. Problem is, apparently, that there is a glitch in the middle that comes up with the error code "현금개통불가" and the two sides can't approve an input number from a normal terminal on the KTF side. In other words, it gets nixed by the glitch in the middle. But my number is apparently 100% cool.
And apparently, there are several other F-4 visa holders in the same situation, so there's an engineer working on fixing the problem as we speak. Imagine that!
If anyone gives you shit and you have an F-4, they're WRONG. 100% fucking wrong. If you set up your account to:
-- mail your bills home (and not to a bank book)
-- if you set up to your bank book, make sure it wasn't opened with a passport number, but your alien registration number
You should be able to register it. The reason it's being rejected is because of the error code listed above, which is a SYSTEM ERROR. Call the KTF 대리점 at the iPark Mall in Yongsan and confirm that. I just put them through the wringer.
But for all of you who do NOT have Korean blood running through your veins, there is still trouble. I confirmed that:
-- You can't pay monthly for the iPhone, like a Korean, if you register in your own name. You have to pay for the entire service contract and phone UP FRONT. And you have to use a pre-paid card. So you ACTUALLY don't have real service. Just the "we-can't-register-foreigners-in-our-system-pay-four-times-the-amount" service.
-- And to do that, you STILL need a Korean credit card. To get second-class service. Same credentials, same coverage of liability, but you get to pay MORE. Lovely.
-- The logic still remains: IF YOU ARE OF KOREAN DESCENT, KTF CAN MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK FOR YOU, EVEN WITHOUT ANY ACTUAL COVERAGE OF LIABILITY FOR THE SERVICE CONTRACT. BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE KOREAN GENES, YOU ARE NOT TRUSTWORTHY TO HAVE NORMAL SERVICE *EVEN IF YOU HAVE MORE GUARANTEES OF YOUR RELIABILITY* AS A KOREAN.
FUCK YOU, FOREIGNER.
In the end, no matter how you spin it, isn't that KTF's message?
"We can change the system for Korean-descent foreigners, even without any financial guarantors for the service contract. But no matter what, non-Korean foreigners are not worth changing our system over, even if all our competitors have. You are simply not trustworthy enough in ANY case. But you ARE if you have Korean genes."
Does Apple Korea know about this bullshit? Is this kind of blatant discrimination in the form of outdated and unnecessarily high level of scrutiny for foreigners who want to simply buy a fucking iPhone really something a GOOD American company wants to deal with? WHY DID APPLE PICK KTF ONLY? I hate dealing with these fuckers, and I switched to SK precisely because of their bullshit.
Yet, I want an iPhone badly enough to go through it all again. So, Apple Korea, can you please lift a finger and tell KTF to do what ALL the other carriers have done and STOP THE DE FACTO DISCRIMINATION AGAINST FOREIGNERS and set up at least a deposit system so we can simply register a phone? And obviously, the problem goes to their system being archaic and stupid, probably unchanged in many areas since the age of the PAGER.
WTF, KTF?
The saga continues...
