Scribblings of the Metropolitician

Identity Consumerism Reigns

I smile every time I see this. I think it's hilarious as well as crazy fucking interesting to see traditional arts be so readily subsumed into identity consumerism. This commercial is as funny as was Im Kwon taek's horrid sequel to Sopyonje was an insult to that film's legacy. Pansori fits into Korean society now as a cheeky cellphone commercial--- no more. It's a mere punchline now, a snarky sales pitch. This is where traditional culture goes to die. And it's not KT's fault. They're just the messenger.

어 어 -어머 아이구야....

I'm not laughing about the fall per se, I am snickering at the folks represented by these three snide students who cornered me after a conference presentation, who couldn't stomach my claim that the Korean media was completely unprofessional and were still the lackeys of the government and kissed the Blue House's ass. 

What y'all think now? Obviously, this is my fantasy rebuttal, since I highly doubt they read my blog. Apparently, the Korean public is getting all pissed again at the government's heavy-handed attempts to corral in the local media.

Well, don't just blame the present president, but the entire relationship between government and the press, and the socio-legal structure that keeps the press' tail between its legs like an abused dog that's been beaten one too many times and Massa raises his hand in a moment of spite but doesn't hit. What's the dog do? cowers and whimpers, like the Korean media. 

In that kind of environment, you don't need much to embargo a video of your president tripping over her hanbok. 

If you want a healthy environment for critical journalis, there needs to be an undergirding culture of criticism, which is still pooh-poohed and derided here. Gotta have the social room to guffaw when your president trips. And not think "Our nation has fallen on its face before the entire worlf!" But rather that somebody tripped, which is...admittedly...kinda funny. 

 

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Korean Waving...

This isn't my first rodeo -- I've been saying the same thing for a long time.

Did a short opinion piece for tyhe Korea Times, wish I had been more careful about how
I talked about the origins of the term "Korean Wave," since that's become a bigger sticking point than the greater point of my argument that it's not about a sudden recognition of Korea in the West -- 'cause let's face it, that's what most important to the "Wave's" boosters -- it's about more, better Korean cultural products coming out in general, which is awesome, and I'm all for cheering that.

Good criticisms, factual errors on points taken.

In short, the point I'm making comes from sitting on that Branding Council watching the self-congratulatory back slapping in the media about how the "Korean Wave" was moving across the world. I should've reigned it in by saying "Sure, it's a trend in Asia, but the world? The chest thumping and boastiung, quite frankly, happens when something Korean comes out in Europe or America, not China or Japan as much. For the latter two countries, it's like "Yeah, we know." But if GG comes on Letterman or Psy makes it onto Ellen, it's a big deal that further adds to this idea oof there being a concrete "wave. Perhaps my point would have been better served with a food example, where Korean food is yes -- pretty well known compared to the old days. But people like it because it's goood, not because it's Korean. Hence, this goies against the idea that there is some active recognition -- especially in the West, which is where it's most valued as coming from -- of Korean culture for its own sake. The example of structural push-pull factors -- akin to immigration theory -- would be better explicated through rtalking about soon tubu on the Bay Area, which was pretty popular in Oakland Koreatown for a minute because it was there, good, and cheap , and because there are a lot of health-conscious and vegetaroian consumers in the Bay Area who astumbled across the dish and it snowballed in the local press because it's hard to find vegetarian food that is hearty and has a spicy punch. So non-Koreans were coming in hordes for a while. 

Structural and demographic factors align and we get trends and ideas becoming more popular. My point is that Korean things -- from sundubu to Psy -- are getting out there because they're good and WORTHY of the attention, and with Korea being a developed economy now, there's a lot more of that -- and there will be more. Hence my point about Korean cultural products showing up around the world stage more often is that it's commensurate with the increase in quality of Korean cultural products in general, and is to be expected. It;s not a fantastric phenomenon if you look at the structural factors, and which is why the "Han River Miracle" indeed ISN'T -- if you look at all the capital inflow and military protection that Korea received after the Korean War. It's a perfectly logical and foreseeable ouitcome, given the circumstances -- that's the point, and lesson to take from Korean history. Or in thjs case, the "Korean Wave."

The thing that bothers me about the term is that it encourages a very top-down, centrally-controlled,, Korean-style management relex that zctually stiflesthe production and dissemination of good aspects of Korean culture for international consumption. 

My whole thing is that if you let Korean cultural products alone, they'll speak for themsleves. THe Korean government has already done a good job at doing what governments can and should do to encourage the growth of so-called "culture industries" -- some of them quite by accident. Lifting government ceonsoship on films did more for Korean cinema than any other specfic policydesigned to suport the industry, just as not implementing upload caps on the broadband network the Korean government essenttially built from scratch in one of its many multi-year development plans helpeed create the possibility for a thriving gaming environment. Psy got big, in the end, not as the esult of government initiatives, or big production companies pushing him, but because he's amazing and because of Youtube. And by comparison, where are the much-vaunted Wonder Girls and Girls' Generation these days? Did any of the nationalist -- and frankly, somewhat dishonest boosterism ever help spread Korean culture abroad? The biggest cases of Korean cultural product success took place outside of the "Korean Wave" government-industry machine model, and are often products the government wouldn't want to support, or weren't popular back home, or are just things nationalists want to push for no reasons other than their own:

FOOD
"Korean Wave" booster favorite: Royal Korean court food, bibimbap
Real world winners, by dint of just being unequivocally awesome: Korean fried chicken, sundubu, galbi. 

FILM
"Korean Wave" booster favorite: Chunhyang and other crap like this
Real world winners, by dint of just being unequivocally awesome: Old Boy, The King and the Clown, The Host

MUSIC
"Korean Wave" booster favorite: The Wonder Girls and other slightly pervy, real-talentless dancing girl acts ad nauseum, Rain
Real world winners, by dint of just being unequivocally awesome: 2ne1, Psy

FASHION
"Korean Wave" booster favorite: Seoul Fashion Week (no one cares, yet)
Real world winners, by dint of just being unequivocally awesome: Korean street fashion, certain cool-ass, individual designers with crazy talent

My Cheeky Guide to Doing the Best Possible Ethnographic/Journalistic Work in Korea

1.Speak Korean.
 I don't want to belabor an obvious point. But too many people get by talking about Korea and talking about Koreans, or certain people in Korean society, without begin the language. I'm not going to get on a high horse here about how one can or cannot “understand the culture” without speaking the language in question, but I'll simply move on to a concrete point and reason that speaking the target language is in fact important. It's funny—if someone were writing the book about French culture or aspects of French society but didn't in fact the French, we would dismiss him or her out of hand. But for some reason, we let people get away with saying almost anything they want to about Korea, if these people can't speak their way out of a wet paper bag in the target language. Why is this important, you may ask? It's about to become very clear. 

2.  Do your own interviews in Korean.
 Speaking Korean allows you to do interviews in Korean, as opposed to finding oneself limited to speaking with only the people that their language ability allows you to speak with. This automatically limits the number of informants you can use, down from the ideal group of the best possible informants to, usually, merely those informants who can speak English. 

3. Interview the proper and most relevant people.
 Let's start with a concrete example. If you want to talk to the ladies who work in the street food stands on the streets of Seoul, you should talk to the people who run street food stands on the streets of Seoul, right? You're not going to get very much that's useful just talking to Seoul National University professor who talks about the point of view of the old ladies who sell food at the street  food stands on the streets of Seoul, simply because you're getting another entire filter in between you and the target subjects. it's funny that one even has to make this argument explicit in the Korean case, but unfortunately it is necessary. Let's take the recent case of the story that was published about the fire on Hooker Hill in Itaewon. this was published as some kind of in-depth piece of journalism on the 3 wise monkeys website. However, everything that was written specifically not from newspaper accounts and public records, as the  seemingly authoritative interviews made with people who worked near the scene, was hearsay, and potentially very biased hearsay. Let me remind you what the definition of “hearsay” is: when you don't speak to or hear from the subject in question directly, but from some other source. This is the very definition of hearsay.  Unfortunately, the writers of that article spoke to everyone except the most important person who needed to be interviewed for that article: the bar girl/prostitute who was the central figure and focus of a large part of the article itself.  basically, the writers spoke to the people who were able to speak English, namely the bar owner whose establishment is across from the bar in question, as well as a rival bar owner and infamous "mamasan" a few establishments up the road. Both their accounts were used to establish that the bar girl in question had apparently and allegedly swindled the young soldier out of his money, which in some way lead to tempers flaring up into an actual fire. Glaringly absent from the article was any interview with the woman in question, about whom many theories were being spun and aspersions cast. I found this to be pretty irresponsible,  and even unethical, since this was a story being reported about a person's allegedly immoral or even illegal actions, with her name attached, in a forum in which hundreds or even thousands of people could read about it. Their site seems to take itself seriously enough, so why don't they take basic journalistic ethics at all seriously?  this is not even mentioning the fact that all of this writing takes place in a language in which the subject isn't able to defend herself in, had she even been asked for her side of the story in the first place.

Note: since I made a pretty decent reputation for myself on the hill amongst the girls working there with my pretty honest story on the aftereffects of the 2004 special anti-prostitution law, and the girls apparently  all know who I am, if only by dint of the fact that I didn't told the standard  pity-party line that most of the Korean media uses when talking about prostitution, I simply went and found the girl in question within 5 min. of inquiry, and asked her for her side of the story, which completely contradicts everything said about her in the 3 wise monkeys story.

5.  You need to gain rapport and trust from your subjects. Then they will tell you the straight story and allow you access.  Do the due diligence. Just be honest and tell the story that there, instead of bringing the story that you want to tell and simply using your subjects as fodder for it.

 6. Just don't be a dick.
 It's not actually hard to get your subjects to do what most people would even consider it be impossible, which is for a hooker hill Korean prostitute to pose for a sitting portrait that she knows very well is going to be published somewhere. There are creative ways to get around showing the face directly, without bumping into the problem of looking like you're purposely not trying to show the face to the extent that interferes with the naturalness of the picture.  the environmental portrait that I did above was the result of a lot of photographic experience, but also the result of several years of having built good rapport with the people on the Hill, to the extent that they would even trust me with taking a picture that could potentially be misused to harm them. In the picture above, I had her shift her position such that identifying marks and tattoos would be thrown into the shadow side, since this was a concern that she had, almost as much as her face.

 Had you asked me even a few years ago, well after I had become an active street and documentary photographer, if I would ever be able to take such a picture, my answer would have been an absolute “no.” But it's amazing the kind of reportage that one can get when one is ethical and direct and what's more, journalistically responsible. The latter concept is a lot more than simply checking back sources and link's or footnoting properly; it's about being an honest reporter of reality and acknowledging in the report one's own limitations and bias in telling the story.

Why Psy's "Gangnam Style" style went "American-style" and is the “Apt Pupil” of K-Pop

I feel obligated to post about a music video from Korea that has become a viral hit in the United States, having even received a few e-mails to do so. Especially since I posted a pretty harsh reaction to what has been up to now hailed as Korean pop's greatest apparent success on the big American stage, the Girls' Generation debut on David Letterman, I feel especially obligated to follow up with a reaction here.

 Actually, since I'm in dissertation-writing mode these days, and crunching aspects of Korean popular culture through a theoretical lens, particularly with the film Sopyonje and the national nostalgia for traditional culture that it both sparked and personified, I'm going to simply preface this by lifting wholesale a section that I wrote for my dissertation prospectus, which I tell people now actually  begin quote predicted” the popular obsession with Korean mass cultural products.. Now, I'm stopping myself on the for head all the more because that little prediction came true. I still remember talking with another Berkeley graduate student colleague in the driveway of my Oakland house for a couple hours one night, a woman who was in the department of ethnomusicology and has gone to literally write the book about Korean popular musical forms. we were talking about different aspects of how cool Korean music was, and I actually threw into the conversation my opinion about how Korean American identity had defined itself a the "vanguard" of of a way of being Asian-American, one that had suddenly been imbued with a new kind of swagger, a new kind of “cool.” This formed the kernel of a paper prospectus I prepared for the Association of Asian American studies (AAAS) yearly conference, and I was accepted on a panel, but being a poor graduate student, ended up not going and missing a pretty good opportunity to stake my flag in the sand well before anyone was talking about Korean pop culture as being cool outside of Korea. I still remember my idea that Korean pop music or film being met with suspicion and doubt, and my original reasons for believing that Korean popular cultural products could find purchase overseas still remains unchanged, centering around the idea that Korean cultural products will either flop or fly based on their own inherent merit, as well as on context and timing. let me just cut-and-paste here to get this post moving:

As anyone who has lived through the years of identity politics of the 1990s knows, the influence of what I call “iconic multiculturalism,” which overwhelmingly defined culture in its most reductionist forms – food, fan dances, linguistic ability, Africa pendants, and other icons  -   set the stage for a generation of Asian Americans, many of them Korean Americans and others who are the legacy of their parents’ arrival in the large wave of the late 60s and early 70s. This was the heyday of reductionist Afrocentrism, arguments about so-called PC terminology, essentialist assertions of inherent cultural difference, and the multicultural debates which were the reaction to these signs of fracture within the understanding of what it means to be “American.”

Korean Americans remain a telling example, and are indeed the vanguard of a new Asian American culture, as Korea itself suddenly asserted not only a mass popular culture which Korean Americans suddenly found quite acceptable to their American palates, but also a new desire to preserve and define Korean identity itself. This was and is a desire shared by young Korean Americans hoping to define a “culture” and identity for the first time as individuals and a young ethnic group. It is no coincidence that at the same time, across an ocean of distance and culture, both Koreans and Korean Americans of this generation are engaging the same issues of culture and identity against a seeming torrent of rapid change, disconnection, and a feeling of cultural loss. 

 At the time, I was quite interested in the then recent phenomenon of Seo Taiji and the Boys' having brought the then new genre of so-called “gangster rap" to South Korea.  ground zero of this was a track on their 4th album, entitled Come Back Home." what had impressed me about that particular song was just how adept the group was at not nearly mimicking and aping the stylings of the group Cypress Hill, but at really somehow making that new style truly something of their own, at the same time making Korean rap and the language itself somehow gel naturally into something so good and organic that one can't blame Korean middle school kids around that time for not thinking that they had made it up themselves. even to this day, if you play a Cypress Hill track before listening to the Korean hit song "Come Back Home," it's surprising how much the staccato Spanglish and Ebonics fit well with the Korean language, not to mention the specific high-pitched vocal tones of the lead rappers in both groups, along with the secondary rappers in both groups, both possessed of wilder, more forceful baritone delivery.

 My argument at the time revolved around the idea, painfully obvious to me as someone who thinks about institutions, social structures, and the power of forces larger than any individual's power to control, was the fact that South Korea is, and has been for long time, a cultural colony of the United States. Once you can accept this pretty obvious fact and get over unnecessary attachments to national pride, you might be able to buy into what I call the “apt pupil” model of South Korean cultural production. It pretty much goes like this: pretty much every genre of popular music today in South Korea is simply the Korean analogue to the very same genres that are popular in the United States. You can see this going all the way back to the 1980s and before, since when disco and the "new wave" were popular in the US, they were popular back here in Korea. When glam rock and heavy metal were popular in the US, Korean stylings of the same genres were popular in Korea, along with the appropriate haircuts and dress. When rap was busy bursting onto the scene in the American mainstream, it was also starting to enjoy some popularity in Korea, commensurate with the extent to which MTV and most white people started liking it. That's why the 1st rapper most young Koreans ( who actually would you be so young anymore, actually) can remember is MC Hammer, since he became popular here, and as we all know in the US, was the 1st commercially successful-like-a-locomotive act in the US --  remember Hammer pants? I actually bought a CD of MC Hammer's “The Funky Headhunter" in a little music store on Cheju Island. around the time of this album, and MC Hammer's descent into embarrassing obscurity, is when Seo Taiji burst onto the scene with their single " come back home." and when it did, school children across the nation went absolutely bonkers. I really did feel it was like the Beatles' debut on American television. but it wasn't an invasion, but rather the 1st in a long line of Korean groups who would do the Seoul-LA shuffle, successfully learning the style of a popular group in the United States that had previously been hitherto unknown in Korea, perfectly adapting their style to the Korean language and culture, then debuting back home and single-handedly starting a mini revolution within their field. at the time, it occurred to me that the track in question was so good that it could be released back home in the United States, and indeed, most of the Americans I knew at the time really grooved on that song, even mostly forgiving what was obvious to most of us, that they had essentially stolen the style of our much loved, hard smoking Cypress Hill. in fact, I'm told that even Cypress Hill forgave them once they heard the track, Since it was just that damn good.

 it goes like this. South Korea, as an “apt pupil” and cultural colony of the United States, is very good at not just mimicking and reproducing the form, as Japan had, but the Korean tendency is to adapt it to the Korean style, for mass Korean consumption. Then, once it bounces back across the Pacific, and Korean-Americans listen to it, it becomes cool enough to bump in the system of ones lowered Acura, or it can attract viewers outside of the target group, such as I found with African-American guys in the Bay Area who actually tuned into Korean cable television and watched the music videos, simply because they were cool enough to watch. simply put, to the outside American eye, these cultural products are familiar, at the same time they are inevitably exotic, as rap music videos that have all the right elements, such as booty shaking girls, swaggering rappers, and such, except they are Korean people doing it in Korean, which in itself can define a certain level of spectacle. so, South Korea is the perfect foil against which to bounce cultural products back at their originators, remain familiar enough to be palatable, yet adding enough difference to be exotic and new.

 the reason I beat up on girls generation is because they are an example of something that isn't very familiar, or perhaps too familiar as something reminiscent of musical stylings and groups that have long gone to the wayside in American popular culture, not to mention being off code enough to be off-putting.

 to me, it's perfectly obvious why the recent viral success of Psy's music video happened. First of all, it's a catchy tune constructive from the samples of songs that have already been popular in the United States, namely that "No Satisfaction" video, combined with the signature instrumental segue from"Pump Up the Jam."

 

 

and the song exists within the new genre of the electro-house  craze so popular in clubs today. LMFAO is just as popular in the clubs in Seoul as they are anywhere else in the United States, and in fact just finished touring here. hey, they were in a frickin'n Super Bowl halftime show.

 

so, Psy makes a catchy tune along these same lines, adding his particular style of self-effacing goofiness as that silly horse dance. and frankly, it's a cute little dance to watch skinny Korean girls doing in formation.

 So, when American kids see hot Korean chicks dancing this pretty goofy dance while a dorky looking Korean guy, who by any rights, shouldn't be getting checks as hot as in this video, sings a pretty catchy tune in Korean, one that sounds like something they would really get into in the local club, it has elements of both this familiar and the exotic, combined in just the right way and in the right amounts to make a video, shot with high production values, that people want to watch again and again, enough to become the new YouTube sensation.

 but here's what it's not:

 it's not the " recognition of Korean culture" that some pundits over here wanted to be.

 it's not part of any “Korean wave” apparently sweeping through the United States.

 it's simply the result of a perfect storm of factors resulting in a particular cultural product that found popularity in the venue for which it was particularly well-suited --  youTube. And that's it.

 A lot of other vested interests are seeing this through their own glasses and filters, but the success of this recent video isn't any mystery, but continues to happen along the same general lines that any other notable pop-culture successes from Korea have followed. Here, just insert Old Boy or The Host into this model and it works just as well.

Argument with an Ajumma, Sociologically Speaking...

I went to the park this weekend and had a fight with an ajumma.

But that's actually beside the point of this post. What I really want to talk about is the concept of “micro-aggression.” I recently gave a talk, as I usually do every year, at the Fulbright ETA orientation program about “being different in Korea." I brought up the topic of micro aggression in terms of Korea supposedly being a “Confucian culture” by popular description only, but not in fact. I describe Korea's continuing the tradition of the show of Confucianism, but which can be described in reality as a hierarchical system that shares more in common with vestiges of Japanese colonial rule than a pure Confucian social system based on a give and take between elders who stand as moral examples and juniors who follow their lead. I'll illustrate that point with the story I'm about to tell.

I put together outdoor frisbee time with some friends and acquaintances who were interested in doing a little bit more activity or exercise time in on the weekend. We were meeting at the Han River Park, right outside the subway station exit. There was little Family Mart set up right outside the exit with an advertisement for a “Family Mart Café.” So I figured I would kill the better part of an hour weeding in the air-conditioned comfort of the café, since I was buying a drink anyway. I asked guy at the counter where the café was, since I didn't see any chairs inside the store. He told me to go behind his store, where the café would be. So, I bought my milk and went behind the store, out the back door, as he told me. I then sat down to do some Facebook and the cool air and relax in the chair while waiting.

I had a strange feeling of déjà vu, since the last time I came to the Han River was with my friend Ann, then visiting Korea. I could swear this was the same café that had been, at that point, a little restaurant where many people had beer and a bite to eat after an evening of walking along the river. I actually went over to the counter simply to make that little piece of small talk, to ask the question of whether this little café had been a restaurant around 2 summers ago, and to say that I think I had been there before, but it appeared that the management had changed. The lady simply replied, while frying up her chicken for a table full of students nearby, that she had owned the place for the last 2 years and she didn't know what this building had been before. Satisfied with that answer, I just want to sit back down and wait for one of my party to show up. 2 friends came, at which point we chatted for a bit, then went outside to buy some slushees, before coming back inside to cool off before going off to play frisbee.

At this point, the lady with whom I had just exchanged pleasant words a few minutes ago starts yelling at me about not being allowed to bring in outside food or beverages, and what kind of person does that, anyway? Obviously, I was a bit surprised, and then I look up and pay attention to the large sign written in very cartoony letters saying that “outside food and beverages are not permitted on the premises.” One reason I hadn't seen that sign was because it was written in such cutesy and flowery font that I hadn't bothered to try to decipher it, since reading in Korean written in balloony and flowery script isn't my forte, so I hadn't noticed the sign, since I didn't want to make the mental effort, as I often don't, when faced with useless visual chatter, such as advertisements or handwritten menus, which I probably assumed that sign to be when I originally entered the place. Another reason I probably hadn't taken heed of this warning, besides not having actually read it, is because I had asked the guy at the counter of the convenience store where their café was, and he had pointed me in this direction. I had assumed that this was a café where one could order something in the convenience store and then take a seat in the café. There are some of these combinations between café and convenient store around town, namely in the University areas, and also in the Buy the Way convenience store chain, which proudly advertises their convenience store and café combination franchises, where you can order something in the store and sit in the café section, although reading through the magazines before buying them was definitely a no-no, for obvious reasons.

So, having entered the café with the understanding from the convenience store guy that this was where I should go to drink the beverage I had purchased, I was pretty surprised to be suddenly yelled at. So, I simply explained that the convenience store guy had told me to come here, after me having asked where the Family Mart café was. I felt like the whole thing was just a big misunderstanding, and I certainly wasn't trying to be a freeloader, because I understand perfectly well that the owner would not appreciate people coming in and sitting down without ordering stuff in there coffee shop sitting on an expensive piece of real estate. But thinking about the sign again, I reasoned that I wasn't the 1st person to make this mistake or have this assumption, since otherwise why would they bother to make a sign? So I simply explained to the lady that I had actually asked him had been directed here, and hadn't done this on purpose. I also asked her to lower her voice, since I didn't think it was necessary to go, nor did I appreciate her nasty way of handling the situation. My perspective was that I was simply a customer who had made a mistake, and not someone who had called her out of her name, so the vitriol was completely unnecessary. I was doing this in mind most polite Korean, saying that Ihad obviously just made a mistake, and that it wasn't necessary to yell or put each other into a bad mood. (It makes much more sense in Korean.)

It was at this point that a young man, probably around the age of 23 or 24, jumped in to the conversation. So, despite the fact that he wasn't involved in any of this, he decides to admonish me, stopping me in midsentence, saying that this is Korea and I should just apologize and admit my mistake, instead of trying to "start trouble." Obviously, I got irritated at this kid, whose name should have been Bennett, cause he wasn't in it, who was trying to admonish me for simply trying to explain what happened and save some face, since this lady had called me out in the middle of the entire café, yelling at me like I was a six-year-old child.

Of course, I understood her point as a business owner being irritated by the occasional freeloading customer trying to get some free AC and a seat, but as an innocent party, I was simply trying to explain that what she thought was happening wasn't what had happened, and she had caused me to lose face by calling me out in the middle of a café, on top of yelling at me like I had no sense. But that wasn't the real problem here.

I wasn't really that thing with the ladies to begin with, but more geared. At this sudden chiding in public. More than trying to win the conversation, or fish for an apology, I was just trying to end the encounter by explaining myself. And I am a 40-year-old in Korea. After a certain point, and especially after leaving one's 20s, you just get used to a certain level of play treatment by both those younger than you and adults in your age range. But what really chaps my hide with this. Was when you started saying how, as a foreigner coming to Korea, I needed to respect Korean ways of doing things and blah blah blah, at which point I got hot and told him to mind his own business, and it occurred to me that he was violating his own little chiding, by talking to me as if I'm not actually probably 15 years older than him and a professional--a professor, which is important in the Korean scheme of things, which is what he was ostensibly talking about. What occurred to me was that had I been a Korean professor, 40 years of age, he wouldn't have dared open his snide little trap in my general direction. What was really going on here was that he was disciplining me for being a "bad foreigner" and for daring to speak out against a venerated Korean. So, I sarcastically asked him if he was some anthropology professor or something, and who he was to tell me how to behave in Korea. I then continued by saying that I have lived here for 12 years and I didn't need his little lecture. At which point, he replied in English, with a sarcastic “whatever.” If he was really about the Confucianism, he should've figured that now was about time to shut the hell up. I was obviously a lot older than this kid, and it wasn't his business in the first place, a fact that I communicated to him again. Surely, it would be difficult to argue that shooting “whatever” at me in Korean would or could PM line with much vaunted, ancient, Confucian ways. Basically, it comes down to the fact that this was a punk kid irritated at watching a foreigner act “out of place.”

So, instead of switching to English and tell him his kid to go fuck his mother, since he would've understood that, but also expected that, I pulled the main trick I have learned. Korea when arguing, which is to say and deep insult in a sarcastic manner, placing the other person in the position of having caused you to lose face, which in turn causes them to lose face. (쳬면) composing myself so that my voice was shaking in anger, and calling upon my best Korean, I indignantly asked, “even though I'm a dirty foreigner, I'm still a human being, and entitled to be angry if someone starts yelling at me enough to hurt my feelings. Stop turning this into a foreigner/Korean issue, and stay out of it.This is a conversation between me and the lady, not you. We're just 2 people talking. Even though I'm a foreigner, am I not allowed to be irritated and say what I want to say?" At that point, kids just maintained his “whatever” stance of being dismissive and rude.

Now, my mom, who is Korean, for even came to Korea, warned me not to let Koreans take advantage of me or walk over me, even though I had to learn the culture. That's a great piece of advice for anyone living here. Sure, we have to respect the culture, but one also has to respect oneself.. People who confuse letting individuals walk all over them and turning that into a conversation about ” respecting the culture” are headed for some serious trouble.

THe trick here is that while you should course “respect the culture,” you have to remember that you are human being living in and the society full of social roles and social rules. None of us are automatons. We are all human, although non-Koreans are humans raised in a different cultural milieu, but no matter where we are from, people don't relate to each other by observing abstract social rules and mechanically following them for the sake of doing so. That's like arguing that languages, with their different vocabularies and grammars, can only be used in a certain way, to say certain things. But humans use language in creative ways, and often creatively break the rules in order to accomplish certain goals and for specific effect. If life, or languages, weren't meant for rules to be broken or even change when necessary, there would be no evolution, no progressive synthesis. Apparently, the kid in question was extremely bothered by watching a non-Korean arguing with a Korean. Him that was obviously foremost in his mind, and no matter the content of the argument, the rationale he used to justify his position was that a younger person should not overly express irritation or show anger to an elder person under any circumstances. What made his hypocrisy obvious was the fact that he was being so flagrantly and unapologetically rude to me in telling me to basically shut up. Obviously,his own rationale for being angry with me disagreeing with the older lady didn't apply to himself, who was being actively rude to an older man, namely me. This is what makes the whole exchange ridiculous, in that he was violating the very rule he was telling me to adhere to.

That's what qualifies this as a micro-aggression in my mind. In his mind, me being a foreigner somehow places him, as a Korean, higher on the hierarchy than me. Him being Korean allows him to somehow feel justified in calling me out, in calling me out and away he would never dream of doing to an older Korean man, arrogating himself to the level of actually trying to lecture me as if he had the authority to do so.

Let's break it down.

What were some of the social rules I broke? -- I spoke up against a person who was older than me.

What was the social rules broken by the older lady, the way I saw it? --As a customer, even one who was breaking a rule of the establishment, it's expected that, in a business related to the service industry, patrons should be given a certain basic respect. --Fellow adults in Korea generally treat each other with and speak to one another with a certain basic level of civility. Even if the patron is in the wrong, like not dumping the ice out of the glass before putting it in the bin, you don't yell and put on a show as if this were one's house. What I would expect in this situation is for someone from the establishment to politely approach me and say, “excuse me, but we don't allow the consumption of outside food or beverages in this café.” If I became irate and indignant at that point, I would be an asshole.

What were the social rules that I broke, from the rude kid's point of view? -- Foreigners should follow proscribed rules without question or deviation. Otherwise, they are being "disrespectful" of "Korean culture."

It goes without saying, at this point, that there are different sets of rules here applying to different people. Rules are meant to be broken, as the old adage goes, and there is indeed a time and a place for just about anything. In living my own life and navigating the complexities that that brings, I have come up with my own set of rules to follow, one of which is:

--Never cross a Korean ajumma.

So, I've violated my own rule that day, because I generally find it not worth my time to disagree with or go against the will of an ajumma. But life is complex, and getting called out like that would have pissed off most normal people, especially if one truly made an innocent mistake. And in the Confucian set of rules, what happens when the elder person is in the wrong? Most Koreans would answer is simply be quiet and accept it. But, I am an American, through and through. So, although I have learned to accept this way of thinking, and in order to maintain social harmony in Korean organizations, not to mention my job in many situations, I have bitten my tongue many a time, even and especially when the elder was acting straight crazy. But the thing about life is that there are exceptions, and times when rules need to be broken. My personal sense of self-worth, combined with my sense of entitlement as a customer combined to make me stand up and say, “hey, this is a little much. Your behavior right now is a little inappropriate.”

And that's the problem with so-called “Korean culture.” When it becomes reified as this concrete, unchangeable thing, and inviolate set of rules, were not talking about real life or real people anymore. No matter where you go, in any society, there are social rules and often, the stricter they are, the more creatively people try to break them.

What is unique about this situation, and what causes me to believe that “multiculturalism” as a policy won't work here in Korea, at least until this is parsed out in a meaningful way to people on the ground, is that interactions between those who were considered insiders and outsiders to the culture are regulated seen as things to be regulated and controlled by the insiders, and on the insiders' terms only.

So, when Korean “multiculturalism” is represented on television and in feel-good news stories, it invariably involves a foreigner conforming to Korean social rules and customs. You see stories of Vietnamese mail order brides learning how to cook Korean food for their husbands, blonde, white women wearing Korean traditional dress on major national holidays on television, or foreigners doing the monkey dance and wowing the audience by *GASP speaking fluent Korean, which is apparently amazing enough of an act to land them on television. Patterns of representation such as this set the terms of how multiculturalism will be done here, and the implied message, the unspoken role norm, is that the “good foreigner” follows the Korean way of doing things, no matter what, without thinking or room for adjustment according to the logic of the situation. Using this overarching logic of foreigner versus Korean,, the only way the Korean can be seen as out of line is if something is done to cause the nation to lose face. Had the older Korean lady started yelling and cursing and made a show of pushing me out the front door, instead of that appearing as overboard on a fellow human being, or a mere patron, they can only be considered wrong if the older lady is seen as embarrassing “Korea” by treating the visiting foreigner rudely.

You see how this works, and why this bothers me so much??

No matter what, in the mind of this kid, the only thing that matters is that I'm a foreigner. Whether or not, as a patron, I'm right isn't really what he's concerned about. The very rule he sees as inviolate as it applies to me is the one he himself is violating at that very moment.

That's what's been bothering me lately, as my Korean has continued to improve to the point where I can have quite complex and intricate conversation more easily. I realize that no matter what I actually say, I am not being viewed as a person speaking Korean who happens to be from another land, or even a real human being, since the fanatical obsession with English in this society often turns even the simplest conversation into a speaking and listening comprehension test. Often, I'm having what appears to me to be a conversation, but to my Korean counterpart is obviously nothing more than an ongoing test or challenge of one's language ability. It's a grammar game next first and conversation as an afterthought. The content of the conversation itself is just filler.

I really wonder how it is for someone who looks like me but is Korean, born and bred in this country, but who walks around being greeted in English, although that person doesn't speak that language any better than the average Korean speaking to him or her, and being treated as a perpetual visitor or outsider.. And in the same situation as in the coffee shop, that guy would feel compelled to apologize to my brown Korean doppelgänger only if he added, " actually, I'm Korean, not a foreigner."

Anyway, to wrap this story and post up, after playing frisbee for little while, we went to buy more slushees, and I thought to buy one for the lady as I went in to give her one  by way of a gesture of reconciliation. I learned a long time ago that conflict followed by resolution and reconciliation is often the best medicine for situations such as this in Korea. this is a place where maintenance of social harmony is paramount, and no matter  the reason for making waves, setting things back into equilibrium between all parties is seen a lofty as a worthy goal.

 As I did so, the older lady apologized to me for our " misunderstanding," at which point I gave my own obligatory apology for causing so much trouble,  since she had made the 1st gesture,  since and I would be doubly rude by simply accepting publicly that she was in the wrong and gloating, or continuing to push the point. I had done good by coming into reconcile, and she had made her own gesture of being the 1st to apologize, even as I said, " no, no,  I should have not made the mistake, it was all just a misunderstanding, etc."

 I wish that kid had been there, since he would have seen that yes, people do sometimes get irritated at each other in society, and that yes, this particular dirty foreigner knows how to comport oneself very well in Korea, thank you.

 You little punk. 이 사가지 없는 놈아.

Discuss.

 

On the Value of Virtuosity

Some of you have missed the point of what I actually said in my initial post on Girls' Generation's appearance on Letterman, and instead, engaged in straw-manning and oversimplifying my argument. Such is the way of the Internet, I guess.

Read this comment here, since it lays out what I actually am saying, not what people think I am saying. Reading comprehension skills, people -- not scanning for keywords. A lot of you are ostensibly English teachers, no?

1) I am not predicting the "demise" of K-pop, nor am I in the dark about it being very popular in China, Taiwan, the Phillipines, Japan. Nor am I ignorant of the fact that it's a vibrant sub-genre in the US. But it ain't what the Korean media is saying, and will remain about where it is, enabled by changing demographics and the easier distribution of music along different parts of the long tail pattern.

2) But music requires talent. Great musicians posses virtuosity. Acts that have jostled people out of where they already were, as in the many examples I cited, possessed virtuosity -- they caused people to sit up, go out and buy the LP, or the CD, or Google them. And you might even find them on iTunes, since a) you know to look, and b) iTunes is one of the aggregators that lets you FIND it. GG just wasn't that good, they dont really have a new sound, especially to the American ears they find great inspiration from.

3) People think only about PUSH, not PULL. As in immigration theory, it's not just that people want to leave their own country, but there has to be a pull that brings them in, as well. Such a theory would apply to cultural trends as well. It's not just that GG wants to enter the American market, or that their boosters really really want them to succeed; the cultural codes, market needs/niches of the receiving culture also matter -- and on this score, I don't see the viewers of Dave being jostled out of their seats enough to care about this random group of kids. This is the same problem I've been positing in ALL attempts to push Korean culture abroad, well before GG's appearance.

4) National blinders lead people to patterns that aren't there. This is a greater example of what I saw in movie theaters in the 1990s. No, this doesn't mean I'm an old fogey. One might call this "perspective": whenever a Samsung logo would accidentally flash across the screen in a Hollywood movie, or "Hyosung" would appear as a sign in the backdrop, the Korean audience would give out a loud "Wooooooo" and would be a-titter for a minute or so. I would roll my eyes; my peers in the States probably wouldn't notice; Koreans would see this as a pattern of "growing recognition/power/penetration/knowledge of Korean culture/brand power/dominance" in the world. In short, the Koreans would see a discrete phenomenon; Americans would just see Peter Parker as Spiderman using a computer.

Such are the problems with seeing huge patterns, making great prognostications, calling the game well before the second inning has even started.

Thus far, to the extent that Korean culture HAS found greater popular purchase and success worldwide, it followed examples of virtuosity -- Old Boy blew 'em away at Cannes and the French got hooked into the gritty, noir style of Korean cinema. Killer dramas in the late 1990s brought a new genre with high production values and Asian cultural values to other countries in Asia. It defined a different aesthetic. Even in Korean music, still, the most purchase ha been found in Asia, and mostly amount the ey young.

And the same is true in the US. GG's performance didn't shake the foundations of music, or even cause much of a stir -- MUSICALLY. That's the point. Everyone is cheering for them because of the import ths has for "Korea" or "Koreans" -- but that isn't pertinent to te matter at hand: those who already know, or be inclined to care, about a Korean girl group with little distinguishing talent appearing on Letterman are the proverbial choir that's already heard the sermon. Those who don't, or who won't be inclined to care, won't be moved enough to do so.

That's all I'm saying.

To be clear -- for singers, virtuosity matters. At least, and especially, in the US. We're not just talking about "Korean culture" in the abstract, but one thing that determines whether or not a singer, let alone an entire genre, will make it -- their singing ability, stage presence, novelty -- all of it.

People here have been calling me an old fogey, saying I'm out of touch. It's a new age, gramps, and the kids won't get off yer lawn.

But in the US, virtuosity leads to glowing reviews, being asked to do a guest performance on an awards show, getting on the cover of Rolling Stone, getting asked to appear on every single other late night show there is, becoming the musical guest on SNL -- oh, and speaking English well enough to not just make it through an interview without embarrassing oneself, which is unfortunately, the bar as it stands now, since that's what everyone would be worried about if one or two of the girls was asked to speak/spar with Dave, but to actually impress, to promote oneself well. 

Virtuosity matters, people. This is music we're talking about. Just as the script, cinematography, directing, and acting matters in a film. And no matter the circumstances of how a Korean film might end up getting premiered in NYC, Chicago, and LA -- as Shiri was, and which Koreans were touting as the seminal moment for something at the time, the film sucked. At least by American standards.

And it didn't lead to larger distribution, it didn't lead to getting shown in a Michigan cineplex. I saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the Midwest, after it had been show in the artsy theaters, after the buzz had led it to wider release, then full-on nationwide release, at which point I sat in a Midwest mall cinema, marveling that a Chinese-language, subtitled film that could easily be mistaken for the chop-socky schlock I used to love watching the local stations on Sunday afternoons as a kid -- could somehow be on the big screen. Why did it make it, as a foreign film being watched in an American theater, something most Americans do NOT want to watch, especially with subs?

Because it was just that fucking good.

As the man says to Merv, "You either got it or you don't have it. And she's go it!" Listen to the way she ends the song -- she's got it. It doesn't even matter that this was a cover -- not even a new song. She just sang the living sheeeet out of that song, in a way that kinda blew away the original. She brought a fresh novelty to a song people already knew. Damn.

And people say this is "unfair" to compare the two? Sorry. Dave is as important as Merv Griffin ever was, and Whitney had her people pushing her, just as GG does, and they got to stand in the harsh spotlight, take their shot. That spotlight doesn't accept excuses, explanations, or sympathetic stories. And this is the American market. Justin Bieber's YouTube hits don't mean squat, short of getting him noticed by Usher, and then pushed out further. But like him or loathe him, Bieber's got it. Whitney had it. Girls' Generation? Come on. Did we all really watch the same video?

And to those who say that it's unfair to compare them to Beyonce or Whitney or whomever else? Come on -- somehow, however, GG got into the Big Boy Chair (erm, Big Girl Chair, if you prefer) in the US of A, where the bar is high, where major mf's perform in that spot daily. You step up, perform, take your shot. And from what I saw, on the bar that either Joe Schmoe eating his popcorn and flipping channels has, which is actually the same bar some hip music journalist in her Manhattan apartment has while she watches the show and dismisses them as awkward, derivative, and a little "off" -- they struck out.

That's what you bring to a national telvision debut. You fucking bring IT. You either cause goodbumps or people go "Meh" and forget they ever heard you. Especially in the new media age, where people are bombarded with stuff all the time. You make the host go "Whoa!" and the audience stand up. Or you go home and no one remembers you.

And that's what people are forgetting about here. Even if GG had been good, or special, or offered something truly novel, which they weren't and didn't -- it still doesn't necessarily mean much in some larger sense, i.e. "Korea is..." or "Korean culture is..." or "K-pop has finally..."

If GG had just killed on Letterman, I bet a lot more people would be interested in...da da da dum...Girls' Generation! Whether that would have led more people to suddenly love Korean pop -- BESIDES THOSE WHO ARE ALREADY DEMOGRAPHICALLY INCLINED TO -- is a stretch to assume would happen.

And that's already two steps way past what we actually saw.

"Da Kimchi Code" redux

I wrote this post about culture codes as they might apply to Korea in 2006, before Clotaire Rapaille's book The Culture Code had even come out, talking about Korea and the iPod, why the codes were suddenly valid enough to make the iPod a hit in Korea. Remember, this is back in the dinosaur ages when most Koreans firmly believed Apple would never sink the unsinkable iRiver market. Ahem.

I repost this as I talk about culture codes now, in 2011, and why I think the Girls' Generation appearance on Letterman won't be the opening of any floodgates, but will be another mere blip on the pop culture radar in the US, a curiosity that will be forgotten, or if remembered, for the wrong reasons.

 

On the Embarrassing Debut of Girls' Generation on Letterman and Culture Codes

Roboseyo posted about Girls' Generation's debut on Letterman, the first network appearance of a K-Pop group. The Korean media will lap it up and add to the PR meme machine producing the false impression that "the Korean Wave is conquering the US" or that there is even a "Korean Wave" to begin with, without properly contextualizing what that appearance actually means and what kind of image it will really project -- versus what kind of image KOREANS want to project. And in that difference, dear readers, has always lain the rub.

And detractors, be fair. One might say that this is due to some "haterism," or ring of the accusation that I "hate Korea," but I've been writing about these culture codes for years, specifically in regards to the Wonder Girls and other girl groups, about the appropriateness of Girls' Generation shaking their asses at a historical event with the president in attendance, and all kinds of culture-crunching -- since like 2007, people. It's not a hastily-made glass of Haterade™, nor my overgrown sense of schadenfreude at seeing K-Pop flop (OK, maybe just a little, but only because I think they're doing it the wrong way, and all the time, and I really wish they'd stop), but again -- I wish someone would just think about ANY of the things I always mention.

Sorry -- just playing objective, as if I were Joe Schmoe in Ohio watching them, with no knowledge or predisposition to liking K-Pop.

With the likes of Destiny's Child, Madonna, and all the other great acts that have graced network TV in general and Letterman specifically -- come on, now. I saw Green Day premiere on SNL and was blown away in 1994. I've seen a veritable nobody like Sharon Jones go from YouTube hit to nationwide sensation with her Letterman debut, let's not even get to Justin Bieber.

THAT'S the bar. I know fans are pulling for GG, K-pop people are cutting them slack. But that's the level we're talking and whether or not it's their fault, Joe Schmoe in Ohio is going to be thinking "Why are there so many ppl packed up on that stage?" and/or "Man, those are some babes! They can't really sing, but man, can they shake their asses!" because -- and let's get 100% real here -- they might be "good for a Korean group" but their choreography would have been embarrassing had they been a high school cheerleading squad of blonde chicks from central Ohio. Sure, I think the small stage and its irregular size probably confused things -- but it doesn't matter. That's how they came off.

And the last problem I see is that the culture code doesn't match. There's the question of why so many girls, and the only thing the average American has to compare such a spectacle of a not-so-spectacular singing, not-so-well-dancing gaggle of girls is to what we would call a "revue" of girls, with neon bulb lights on the 42nd Street of old. Or maybe some girls in the strip club.

Seriously -- I'm not trying to be mean -- that's the impression I would have of them were I not a K-Pop fan wanting to cut them slack. And the reaction of Bill and Regis was basically polite confusion, kinda like WTF? I've seen musical groups knock it out the box, and when the greetings come, it's cheerful, genuine, and very friendly -- especially if it's a gaggle of barely-not-teenager girls in hot pants and hooker boots. Don't you think it would have been easier to appear more excited after their performance? Especially for a bunch of hot cuties? But that's not what we saw.

And my last thing is on the culture code of Korean "sexy-but-I'm still-demure" versus American "sexy." That's why the Wonder Girls could never work -- especially when they were younger -- because it's just...umm...weird to see Sohee trussed up like Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver. It's why that Russian underage porno-music duo back in the early 2000's was so controversial, and is the only source of their brief notoriety -- that very controversy. We all knew they sucked (I mean, much worse than GG), and why they were even on stage. Britney Spears -- the message wasn't confused -- even in the first video, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" it was playing on the Lolita image, but it was overtly sexy -- and when she was cute, as in other videos on that same album, she was simply CUTE. And STILL, there was controversy because of her age. But when she came out as sexy, as in "Oops," and she was in that red spacesuit outfit, she was straight up SEXY. Not a coy, "Oh, I'm a sexy girl (but no I'm not, oppa)" or "I'm a little girl (and LOOK like one), but I'm a little sexy for you (ajussi)" -- EWW.

That was the Wonder Girls. GG on stage doing the stripper pole wiggle, then covering up in a coy gesture of shyness -- it comes off as more of a weird tease, and lest we forget -- in terms of the culture code, America is essentially a conservative country. People still bristle at the existence of Hooters, which would be about the tamest way to objectify girls there IS in Korea, and when Britney came out with say, that Rolling Stone cover of her, it was a cultural hand grenade. And she didn't even cross the line that much, meaning that her message wasn't that confused. She was either/or. Not both. Yet, she still caught flak for her age and the Lolita reference.

GG are the highest evolution of singing/dancing 도우미. That figure exists in South Korea at a much higher level than the "gamer babes" at a large convention, or mere "racing girls" across the world. Korea has singing girls to open up bakeries and sell toothpaste in the gorcery stores. The management of GG in specific has admitted that their target market is 40-something males, and their commercial activity shows that. Lee Hyori shakes her ass and sells soju, while GG shakes their ass and sells many other things, from bank accounts to ramen. But mix them codes and you get...

Britney Spears shaking her ass and actually talking about how to shake the beer can to get that foam head going? That'd be just about the end of an American pop icon's career, or at least seen to be the sign OF it. But that's my point. And I've blogged about this a long time before.

The codes for selling shit, drinking ads (Britney might get away with Coke, but not Coor's) -- it's different. Normally, one can say that selling Cass on Korean TV and being a star and hawking Pepsi can't be compared, and you'd be right.

But now, GG is showing up on Letterman. And they're going to be judged by American culture codes, inevitably, not the few sympathetic folks who can actually tell them apart, know their names, and understand the genre in the foreign land they come from. All of whom will probably be Korean or living in Korea. Or an American teenager into Asian music.

Otherwise, both churchgoing Mary Jane Smith in Arkansas or Missy Cool in NYC are going to furrow their brow while watching Letterman and go, "What the hell is this gaggle of Asian chicks in hot pants doing on Letterman?" Or, as the men will tend to react, "Man, did you see that gang of hot Korean chicks shaking their asses on Letterman?" But, alas, that's one of the draws of GG -- unfortunately, there won't be much impression beyond that for most men -- at least, not based on the originality of their act, how well they sing or dance, or anything that will actually generate an interest in Korean music.

Sorry. It's the way Korean producers and cultural content handlers try to package and export culture, and how they don't understand the code. You know what would work better? Let's do a thought experiment.

Suppose, instead of copying and repackaging popular American pop sounds and creating generic bands the size of some smaller countries' armies, the Korean pop music system had 1) variety in its most popular offerings, as well as 2) virtuosity, as in -- yes, displaying actual singers with real talent, who DO exist here, but never make it through the it-must-appeal-to-teenagers-and-be-overtly-saucy-on-television test.

Suppose a fucking SUPER-diva such as Pak Mi Kyoung could actually be 1) a woman, 2) talented, 3) above the age of 30, and 4) allowed to be famous -- suppose her talent and experience and stage presence didn't have a shelf life and were allowed to grow, with her doing pop hits in the 90's and beyond.

Suppose a star like that, with a voice like that, could have been allowed to evolve past the late 90's. Perhaps the Korean market actually allowed for the diversity and virtuosity that briefly produced so many interesting Korean films from the late 90's, when government censorship ended and before Korean cinema was identified, packaged, and constricted into what has been called a "Wave" -- suppose all that had happened.

Eventually, someone, some group from Korea, would end up on Letterman and actually bring something 1) uniquely Korean, yet familiar to connect with, and it was 2) actually good, on the level that Americans will inevitably compare it to, since we're talking abou the likes of Beyonce, Lady Gaga, John Legend, Mos Def, Justin Bieber, and the like.

Let's just suppose we can imagine a world in which the first Korean musical act to perform on Letterman weren't a bunch of barely-distinguishable doumi dancers who lack the very variety and virtuosity that get acts recognized on Letterman, that helps make impressions, that gets people on the map and keeps them there.

LETTERMAN 2 18 08 - Sharon Jones The Dap-Kings Vidéo pacifique84800 sélectionnée dans Musique

Sharon Jones brought a new song in a genre we had thought had naturally died. She and the Dap Kings killed. And they launched onto every late show there was and launched a successful career in the little genre they helped revive.

When we see someone come on Letterman, we want the variety to give us something new, we want the virtuosity that makes us sit up and take notice. The only way Girls' Generation passes the variety test is by virtue of being a group of femme bot-like hot Asian chicks doing a group lap dance on stage -- which is not much of a virtue, to say the least. And in terms of virtuosity, well. Come on. Really?

The Naughty Double Entendre of Certain Seoul Subway Stations

If you've lived in Seoul long enough, are a native speaker of English, but also have been sufficiently saturated in the sounds and feelings of the Korean language, the names of certain subway stations can start to sound...kinda sexy. Naughty. Even a little dirty.

"Shindorim." Ooooooooooh.

"Shindaebang." Yeah, muthafucker.

"Beotigogae." Oh, yeeeeeeah. Gimme dat boodie meat.

"Gaebong." Oh, you know why that's nasty.

"Suk-gye." Isn't that illegal in Alabama?

"Wangshimni." Because I like it extra large.

"Daebang." The big bang.

Naebang." Even deeper, baby.

"Namsung." All man, all the time.

"Shinpoong." The "blow" that always feels new.

"Beom-gye." Hehehehehehe...

And finally, "Jeongja." Ewwwwwwwwwww!